Yuma, AZ, USA
This is my suggestion. That you try to expand your vocabulary. You might have made this poem a little better if you had broken out a thesarus. Don't get me wrong, it is really good poem. Structure is good, scheme is good, idea is good. Just as a poet, you should want your poem to reach out and grab someone with your words. It just seems a little too plain to me. That is all. It would be a great Hallmark card for sure though. *wink* Keep up the good work and let see if we can expand on the current skills you posses.