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Passions in Poetry

Goodbye, Not Goodnight

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Alain DeLaCendres
Member
since 07-02-99
Posts 121
Ohio


0 posted 07-04-99 03:08 AM       View Profile for Alain DeLaCendres   Email Alain DeLaCendres   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Alain DeLaCendres

Please,
Say goodbye
Not goodnight.
Itís over,
It would have died
So I did as my heart told
And left before it got old, cold, or both.

So please,
Say goodbye
Not goodnight,
For nothing can come of a fight.
The fight of holding on
And knowing when to let go,
To let go when hearts grow slow
And the mind kicks in
To point out whatís going on
That love was too blind to see.

It used to be happy,
It used to be good,
But now itís shriveled and dead,
But not yet dead
Only slowly dying
And trying
To prevent too much crying.
So please
Say goodbye,
Not goodnight.

*note: this is one of my least favorite poems of mine..the rythm is messed up, etc..
Just by the way, this poem was "inspired" (I guess..) by the Kiss song "Shandi" from the Destroyer album...anyway..

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Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.
© Copyright 1999 Alain DeLaCendres - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


1 posted 07-04-99 03:29 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

A nice slice of night.

------------------
I would devour you save that you would no longer be there.

Christina Myers
Member
since 06-21-99
Posts 169


2 posted 07-04-99 10:02 AM       View Profile for Christina Myers   Email Christina Myers   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Christina Myers's Home Page   View IP for Christina Myers

I don't know Alain... I think you are being too harsh- I like this one a lot. And it's generally known that I have good taste! LOL
:-D

the rhythm isn't that distracting and I do like the feeling you've created with your choice of words...all in all it's *not* a bad effort.

-Christina

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And I thought: this is how poetry is born. It comes from invisible heights, it is secret and dark in its origins, solitary and fragrant, and like the river it will assimilate whatever falls in its current; it will seek a route between the mountains, and its crystalline song will ripple through the meadows."- Pablo Neruda
Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


3 posted 07-05-99 01:47 AM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

It's one that shines, not that I quite understood it all the way through...... but you're going to get much much better with time..... I didn't notice the rhyme distortion because my eyes are usually focused on the meaning. I had to wonder what "it" signified... maybe I'm a bad critic, but this is a good one! Even bad critics are right sometimes. LOL

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