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Open Poetry #1

Nikki

one voice
Junior Member

since 1999-06-29

Posts 38
Billings, MT USA

0 posted 1999-07-04 03:00 AM

You don't know all the things about me that maybe you should know
I've never had the strength to tell you or the strength to let it show
But yet, I know I'm strong for I have managed all the pain
I've managed all the hurt and anger, all the guilt, and all the shame
If I don't do things your way then it seems that I am wrong
You reach in and plant a guilt-trip just to make yourself feel strong
When I tell you something that I really want to do
it is never good enough if it's not approved by you
All the things I've found important, you've never shared my joy
and I've learned to be your friend is a job I must employ
I work my ass off at this job and most of the time there's no reward
and I'm so tired of this trying
though I never end up bored
Please know that I've done nothing wrong
but take on all this pain-
the pain that you've inflicted,
that I don't want again
You make me feel like I am stupid, like I'm vulnerable and weak
You seem to look upon me as pretentious; or like a freak.
You don't take the chance to trust me
you think I don't know what to do
I ask for help, I'm out of luck- unless you get something too
I don't mean to sound ungreatful
Please know all my words are true
I appreciate the things you give
though I only needed you.
It just seems that there's a thin line around what you'll do for me
and if I do something wrong then you are too good for me
And girl, I am so tired of wasting energy
I just live my life... shouldn't you love me for me?
We used to be so close... I haven't felt that for so long
You seem to think that's my fault, but you should know, Nikki, you're wrong.

------------------
~one voice~

***For myself I Live,
Live intensely and am fed by life,
and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression
of that. -Henry James

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-07-04 03:11 AM

Darling, the sentiment comes through and your pain rings true. I hope this lessens you're burden, for awhile.

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I would devour you save that you would no longer be there.

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