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Passions in Poetry

Sailor

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Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


0 posted 06-30-99 06:26 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Sailor

Clouds of gray possess the once sunlit sky
leaving me damp and shivering
as the breezes blow sand in my eyes.
The ocean grows angry
churning water forcefully to the shore
leaving a trail of seaweed
to catch between my toes.
Thousands of people descending with children
not willing to be caught by the storms fury.
Lightening bolts striking sand castles
crafted creatively by children's hands,
yet what's destroying them
is the surge of the tide.

Out in the yonder ocean bed
a sailor fights the oceans strength,
I watch his boat rock with the waves
as the sailors sweaty hands are glued
upon the steering wheel.
The fear is evident
as the sailor abandons boat
to begin a one man battle
against a raging sea.
I pray for him
for it seems
his lifeless body
is being transported
further from my eyes view.
Tears drip as I face reality
that someone has lost
their sailor to the rage of the sea.
© Copyright 1999 RiaL - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


1 posted 07-31-99 05:44 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Again a treasure from the vaults...way back in the netherrealms of the Open Poetry Forum. Free verse is hard to critique, so I shan't go there. I did, however, enjoy the use of correct punctuation in the breaking up of lines, giving pauses, and inflections of meaning. Good job.

Overall a stirring tale of a mariner's risk and loss to the unforgiving sea. Wonderful treatment of an oft-ignored demise.


Alicat
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


2 posted 08-01-99 08:02 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Alicat: Thank-You very much for your comments, and for giving this one a second chance. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
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