navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » The Sun Didn't Come Up Today
Open Poetry #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Sun Didn't Come Up Today Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Skit
New Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 1


0 posted 1999-06-29 04:40 PM


this isn't my peotry, it's a friends, want him to know what other people think

The sun didn't come up today,
the rain came out instead.
It started with a familiar dream,
that's never left my head.

The dream started with a vision of you,
in the soft morning light.
You turned to me and smiled
and my hear soared like a kite.

Your hair floated on a gentle breeze,
your eyes sparkeled and shined.
You said that no matter what,
you would always be mine.

I told you that I loved you,
you told me you loved me too.
I told you that I was sorry,
and would never again be untrue.

You told me that you still missed me,
despite all this time,
and though we'd been apart so long
your heart had always been mine.

I pulled you close and held you tight,
as a tear rolled down my face.
I was finally with the one I loved,
this was the perfect time and place.

But slowly a fog settled in,
I could barely see your eyes.
I could not see you and you could not hear me
despite my heartfelt cryies.

It was the fog of realization I think,
that woke me from my dream.
I realized I didn't have you in my arms,
and things were as tehy had been.

From the moisture around my eyes,
and in the pillow on my bed,
I guess the sun didn't come up today,
the rain came out instead.

author
JVC

© Copyright 1999 Skit - All Rights Reserved
Krystal
Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140
Shelton,WA USA
1 posted 1999-06-29 05:02 PM


Bravo... this is nicely done! It's sad and it's a feeling I can identify with... but I think your friend did a great job of portraying the feeling here very well. Give him (?) my congrats!

------------------
Shannon D. Montgomery
("Krystal")

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » The Sun Didn't Come Up Today

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary