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Open Poetry #1
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Too Close to Me
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Too Close to Me |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA 
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I see you looking at me I wear disinterest like a shirt Do not get too close to me You'll get hurt or I'll get hurt So you stop to brag to me I wear aloofness like a mask Did you really dare to think In my praise you might bask? I stand here condescending Not that I'm better than you I've seen the way that you live I don't like the things you do Self righteousness like armor To keep you all away Do not get too close to me I will not let you stay Do not try to approach me Nor attempt to be my friend I will turn my back to you Though regret it in the end I cannot show you who I am I'm afraid that you will see I'm just hiding from myself Can't face reality So I hide behind my walls I've built them all around Do not get too close to me You might just knock them down ------------------ Steven Seaman A burden shared is a burden lightened A life shared is a life enriched |
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| © Copyright 1999 Steven Thomas Seaman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Genea Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 321USA |
The line, "Can't face reality" says it all about the speaker in this poem. Well done. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
....and still heavyweight champ of the world... This one is really good, sea. You're back on track. The last stanza - the last line - was perfect. Love it. |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
Genea - I hate to admit it but up until about 6 months ago the speaker would have been me  Thanks for your commentBalladeer - Back on track??? Does this mean I allowed one that sucked to slip by me and get posted??? Dang! I hate when that happens. Your comments/criticisms are always welcome. Thank you balladeer  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Believe me, I've seen nothing you've written that "sucked"! One or two just looked like they could have been written by a mere mortal. You have since re-ascended. |
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Krystal Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140Shelton,WA USA |
This one is great! I especially liked, "I wear disinterest like a shirt..." very good. ------------------ Shannon D. Montgomery ("Krystal") |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Great lines all the way around! I just finish reading AC's "Don't" and now this one. Back to back, these two should meet. Andrew |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
lovely piece..."if you really knew me, you wouldn't like me"...or..."if you like me, there must be something wrong with you"...i remember those feelings well...and then, very slowly, i came to like myself ------------------ Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart... |
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