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Passions in Poetry

Too Close to Me

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sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA


0 posted 06-28-99 11:36 AM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for sea_of_okc

I see you looking at me
I wear disinterest like a shirt
Do not get too close to me
You'll get hurt or I'll get hurt

So you stop to brag to me
I wear aloofness like a mask
Did you really dare to think
In my praise you might bask?

I stand here condescending
Not that I'm better than you
I've seen the way that you live
I don't like the things you do

Self righteousness like armor
To keep you all away
Do not get too close to me
I will not let you stay

Do not try to approach me
Nor attempt to be my friend
I will turn my back to you
Though regret it in the end

I cannot show you who I am
I'm afraid that you will see
I'm just hiding from myself
Can't face reality

So I hide behind my walls
I've built them all around
Do not get too close to me
You might just knock them down


------------------
Steven Seaman
A burden shared is a burden lightened
A life shared is a life enriched

© Copyright 1999 Steven Thomas Seaman - All Rights Reserved
Genea
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 325
USA


1 posted 06-28-99 03:54 PM       View Profile for Genea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Genea

The line, "Can't face reality" says it all about the speaker in this poem. Well done.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 06-28-99 05:17 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

....and still heavyweight champ of the world...

This one is really good, sea. You're back on track. The last stanza - the last line - was perfect. Love it.
sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA


3 posted 06-29-99 09:00 AM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sea_of_okc

Genea - I hate to admit it but up until about 6 months ago the speaker would have been me Thanks for your comment

Balladeer - Back on track??? Does this mean I allowed one that sucked to slip by me and get posted??? Dang! I hate when that happens.
Your comments/criticisms are always welcome. Thank you balladeer
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 06-29-99 04:27 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Believe me, I've seen nothing you've written that "sucked"! One or two just looked like they could have been written by a mere mortal. You have since re-ascended.
Krystal
Member
since 06-19-99
Posts 145
Shelton,WA USA


5 posted 06-29-99 04:39 PM       View Profile for Krystal   Email Krystal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Krystal

This one is great! I especially liked, "I wear disinterest like a shirt..." very good.


------------------
Shannon D. Montgomery
("Krystal")
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


6 posted 06-29-99 04:41 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Great lines all the way around! I just finish reading AC's "Don't" and now this one. Back to back, these two should meet.

Andrew
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


7 posted 07-17-99 12:16 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

lovely piece..."if you really knew me, you wouldn't like me"...or..."if you like me, there must be something wrong with you"...i remember those feelings well...and then, very slowly, i came to like myself

------------------
Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart...


 
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