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Passions in Poetry

My Ex-wife.......

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Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26423
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 06-27-99 07:46 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Have sympathy, my laddies.
I've had a rocky life.
She treated me quite terribly-
My horrible ex-wife.

She wouldn't take the garbage out
Or wash a car or two.
My shoes were never polished,
Not by ex-wife number two!

Ex-wife three was cruel to me.
You know, that silly jerk
Expected me, while making love,
To do some of the work!

Ex-wife four would do no chore.
She lived just like a slob.
She said she was too tired because
She took a second job.

Well, everyone knows I have back pains.
I'm lucky to be alive!
But that brought out no sympathy
From ex-wife number five!

What can I say, my laddies?
I've made some lousy picks.
Perhaps I will have better luck
With ex-wife number six!
© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


1 posted 06-27-99 08:17 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

Perhaps.....
Ex-wife number 2 should meet (almost) ex-hubby number 1, share a 6 pack and move it onto highway 303....whadyathink?
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24460
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


2 posted 06-27-99 08:26 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

ROTFLMAO.....
Hehe... An "ex" is an "ex" is an "ex"...
Bear with me, guys - I just have to share this hysterical story with all of my poetic friends here - Today I had the "privilege" of spending the afternoon with my one and only "ex" husband and my daughters, Stacie and Sandie... He had his newest love of his life with him - Mind you, he's been married three times now... and been in love at least twice more.... This "new" flame, attempting to be friendly, looked at me mid afternoon and said quite seriously,
"Hello - How do you know Stacie???"
My life is never dull, my friends...






[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 06-27-99).]
Ron
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Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9806
Michigan, US


3 posted 06-27-99 09:09 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Finally, someone with more ex's than me! Well, okay, almost more...

Wonderful job again, my friend!

Ron
Craig
Senior Member
since 06-10-99
Posts 882


4 posted 06-27-99 09:45 PM       View Profile for Craig   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craig

Another one? I thought you were off playing marbles with your friends!

By the way great poem drop me a line when (if) you make it to number ten

I took yours and Rons advice and added the lines to my rambles
Christina Myers
Member
since 06-21-99
Posts 169


5 posted 06-27-99 09:53 PM       View Profile for Christina Myers   Email Christina Myers   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Christina Myers's Home Page   View IP for Christina Myers

heheh.... great one, Balladeer...
being in love with someone who has an ex, I can laugh with utter glee at this one!!!! lol
they are very foolish though... I'd put up with you. tee hee

-C
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25878
Hurricane Alley


6 posted 06-27-99 10:40 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Guess the gentleman in your poem thinks he's a fine catch huh? Oh, well, I for one don't like fish! I'd throw him back!

Besides, those ex wives lacked the one thing I do have - a whip!

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9806
Michigan, US


7 posted 06-28-99 12:15 AM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Uh, a whip? I think that would be better explained in the Adult Forum (in verse, of course).
Augchic711
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 81
O'Fallon, IL, USA


8 posted 06-28-99 01:58 AM       View Profile for Augchic711   Email Augchic711   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Augchic711

Balladeer just thought i'd reply and say i'm ROTFLMAO yeah baby there you go again! I hope you get to read my newest post look forward to reading another one of yours!!

*******Augchic711*******
ac
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 132
Cayey, PR - USA


9 posted 06-28-99 10:37 AM       View Profile for ac   Email ac   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ac

Wife #6 huh, how do you find the time to write...this is a really unique way of tallying those failed relationships...loved it...
Genea
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 325
USA


10 posted 06-28-99 01:14 PM       View Profile for Genea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Genea

Balladeer,
The speaker in ur poem sure has the luck, huh? hehe

~Genea
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67959
Listening to every heart


11 posted 06-28-99 01:51 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

And now, Balladeer, we will have to do one in kind from the better, softer, but kinder persuasion. [In other words, watch out.]

It was fun reading. Thanks! Sunshine.
Fred Hobbs
Member
since 06-08-99
Posts 353
Tallahassee, Florida, US


12 posted 06-28-99 08:53 PM       View Profile for Fred Hobbs   Email Fred Hobbs   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Fred Hobbs's Home Page   View IP for Fred Hobbs

Balladeer,

Though I only have one ex-wife sir
She did the worst of crimes
She went and made you marry her
Not once but four more times

sandman
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


13 posted 06-28-99 10:14 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Too funny!! Having no ex-wife I only hope this isn't a foreshadowing of things to come.

------------------
Patience is a virtue, but virtue has never been one of my redeeming qualities.

Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25878
Hurricane Alley


14 posted 06-28-99 10:47 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I am an excellent ex-wife! I shall mount a support group for all of Balladeer's ex wives..we shall march through the cities holding our banners aloft singing songs to rally the troups....

(sung to the tune of We Shall Overcome)

We are overcome!
We are overcome!
We are overcome
from lack of foreplay!

or (sung to the tune of Onward Christian Soldiers)

Onward Balladeerites
marching off to court
we will get our money
we, he will support!

Why anyone would divorce a man such as Balladeer is beyond me! (by the way, my ex had the bad grace to pass away 2 years ago so I can't say anything bad about him...my luck, he's in Heaven telling God to put a curse on my sex life - - oh, no, that was before we were divorced!)


Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7300
America the beautiful


15 posted 06-28-99 11:14 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Balladeer~very, very funny. A light twist on a heavy subject! Good work!

Nan~better luck next time, but your story was quite the experience! That had me ROTFLMAO!

Poet deVine~ no big loss!

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 06-28-99).]
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24460
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


16 posted 06-29-99 08:10 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Here's some exalting music for deVine's exceptionally exemplary songs in her expert tribute to Balladeer's exasperating ex's. All ex's should be extinct ....

Sally S.
Senior Member
since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


17 posted 06-29-99 07:32 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

Bravo, Nan!! I second that.

(oops, I'm trying to hide my horns...is it working???)


IsabelleSkye
Member
since 06-27-99
Posts 262


18 posted 06-29-99 09:49 PM       View Profile for IsabelleSkye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for IsabelleSkye

oh I am LMAO! I love it! Tho' it seems I can't get an X hubby...he won't go away ..so I don't have a funny poem to share in relation to this one! Maybe next time *wink*
*adjusting halo*
I look forward to more!
Luv Izzy
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


19 posted 07-16-99 08:26 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

this one deserves a lift...ex-wives are truly a gift ( are we not? )

------------------
Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart...




[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-16-99).]
Sundance
Member
since 07-11-99
Posts 124


20 posted 07-16-99 08:44 PM       View Profile for Sundance   Email Sundance   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sundance

Nice rhyming, although I am not married, I understand the lack of support given by people u love! Great poem, again, for the 100th time!!!

armanca
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 227
Tennessee


21 posted 07-16-99 10:29 PM       View Profile for armanca   Email armanca   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for armanca

Look me up when you hit seven,
I promise no to go around misbehavin'.
I must say you seem like quite a catch
Maybe even my heavens match.
We'll find out one day that's for sure
Who knows I may be your cure
I leave you now with my good charm
Hoping not to alarm
For I would like to be the one
that leaves your mission done
No more ex's for you dear
Now that i found you Balladeer

hehe *blushing* carman
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3657
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


22 posted 08-05-99 03:49 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Balladeer, you'd be
The perfect catch,
For Fabulous Moola,
In a wrestling match.

Since being an 'ex'
Is what you want.
Ms Moola can make you
Into a different font!


'Deer - you are great - no doubt about it. I love your poem. Back to the top it goes.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11106
Glen Hope, PA USA


23 posted 08-05-99 07:11 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Balladeer....very funny indeed....could it be the husband though and not the wives?? Winks

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 486
Franklin, TN


24 posted 08-05-99 08:21 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

sounds to me like... Balladeer is learning the little things that make life important.

like... dancing in the rain
and getting the kitchen floor all muddy
and.. leaving the dust behind the tv
where it belongs.. (grin)

and enjoy the mess of life..

(*smile) sorry couldn't help myself..
but yes.. I GOT it.. (grin)
 
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