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| Open Poetry #1 |
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Don't ... |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Don't turn around, and look at me... there are shades and shadows, you shouldn't see... Close that book, don't turn that page... forget it's title, loose your place... Disregard the images, of what I did.. you've seen too much of what I hid... Don't ask more questions, I've said too much... There are parts of me, you shouldn't touch... Don't come near me, or get to close... There's nothing here, you'd want to know... And don't caress me, don't linger on my skin... Cuz I just don't want you, to reach within... |
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| © Copyright 1999 ac - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Christina Myers Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 159 |
wow! this is excellent! A different perspective that is hardly expressed so..completely. Bravo. -C |
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Krystal Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140Shelton,WA USA |
I was really impressed by this. Great job! I'm glad you posted it here... ------------------ Shannon D. Montgomery ("Krystal") |
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Alysia Junior Member
since 1999-06-26
Posts 35american falls, idaho usa |
Ahhh. You speak for my heart. I felt as if my tongue was stinging as the last word dropped onto it and lingered there until I swallowed relived pain. Excellent. ------------------ ~ Alysia* |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Thank you Alysia, Krystal and Christina. I was unsure about posting it here, it's a little dark, but now I'm glad I did. I'm flattered that you liked it... [This message has been edited by ac (edited 06-26-99).] [This message has been edited by ac (edited 06-26-99).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
wonderful work, ac. Many people would be happier accepting people at face value. Everyone has a hidden side that should remain just that. I like your style. |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Thank you Balladeer, sometimes even when you give yourself completely, there are certain things you just need to keep entirely to yourself...of course not everyone understands this need... |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
ac, Nice poem! Doesn't seem too dark to me at all. Just sounds like your establishing boundaries. sandman |
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Moonlight Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 105Auburn, Alabama USA |
Very nice! ~m~ |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Thank you Fred and Moonlight...it is establishing boundaries afterall there are some things that are better left unsaid.. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Very strong. I like this one alot! But for all the narrator's demands, I felt the one they were directed towards kept coming closer. That in the end there was nothing that would deter the person from finding the heart within. (Its just the way it struck me.) Thanks for the read. I bow to you. |
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Krystal Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140Shelton,WA USA |
ac... You say it's a little dark. I loved it, personally. I also think that dark and light co-exist... there cannot be one without the other! I write a lot of dark stuff, too, but I hope that, like yours, it still inspires and touches. This really touched me. ------------------ Shannon D. Montgomery ("Krystal") |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Andrew, yes you're right, this was meant for a particularly persistent one...and Krystal, I'm glad you liked it, I guess most everyone feels this way at one time or another...thanks... |
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Nimrod the Hunter Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 60 |
Hi ac, I know this feeling. It happens to me sometimes, like I make a mistake and I have two parents to correct me, and I only want one to correct me instead of two. Same thing, if I have learned once on my own, then I'm afraid of someone correcting me all over again. Or I'm afraid of someone seeing something in me that's so wrong. I don't know if I've said anything right here, but it's just an assumption I understand something related to your poem.  |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
No, you're about right...it is about being afraid of people seeing that human side that makes mistakes and is sometimes wrong...the fear of having the light shine upon your nakedness and your vulnerability and your past (sins and all)....Thanks for your insight Nimrod the Hunter... [This message has been edited by ac (edited 06-30-99).] |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
the fear of intimacy...makes for lovely poetry ------------------ Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart... |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Thank you... |
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snuffleupagus Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 11 |
*applause*...very good. ------------------ "You cannot roll with me," said the Big O, "but perhaps you can roll by yourself." -Shel Silverstein |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
One's only defence is themselves. If you don't defend yourself no one else will. I truely liked every word that you wrote for it echoed much truth. blueloon |
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Kate New Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 4Florida |
I understand where you're coming from. Even if a person appears strong there is always a hidden weakness that they hug to them and hide. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow....good one. I have felt that way numerous times before |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
There's so much I could say... But won't Oh what the heck...simply put-I liked Don't! ------------------ For sometimes when the Darkness falls, we must surrender, take what is ours, and give what we can, and always remember love is somewhere waiting... |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
Thanks guys for all your comments... I'm glad you enjoyed and i'm even more relieved that it's not just me who prefers to keep some things in the dark... |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
I don't know you.......but somehow, you knew me very well. Being a poet, it still amazes me how wonderful the art can be.......how a mere pen can uncover what nothing else can. Thank you for this peice, it is poets like you we all strive to be. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
by the way........i would like to speak with you, if you have ICQ or im, let me know on one of my poems |
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Delores Hall Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342USA |
Now I understand why you got so many replies. I had to check this out. Wonderful,you are good. |
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Mina New Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 4Ames, IA. 50010 |
very good. |
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Rita Member
since 1999-07-19
Posts 55Danville Va. 24540 |
great poem, makes you wanna know what all happened for you to build the walls around your heart. : ) |
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