Member Rara Avis
I think you have some very powerful lines here and the makings of a work of poetry which will last. Some of these lines are especially effective... such as "A twisted tree stands in paradise grown" and "Into the darkness I follow the shade" and "Silence can be such an unsettling sound" and "Seasons change but it is always cold".
I think this Forum is supposed to encourage support from others and maybe a bit of critique, so I hope my comments here are well taken.... IMHO, I *would* shorten this piece to get the most out of it. Sometimes, less is more.... I write a lot of very long poems myself, so I know how hard it is to edit them but when I take the time to do it, it *always* helps.
Keep writing and posting! Oh, and smile . Life *can* be fun.