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Open Poetry #1
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wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 1999-06-23 09:36 AM


The ragdoll layed with the other on the bed
The little girl chose the other instead
The ragdoll looked at itself and knew why
It's body was dirty it was missing an eye

The new doll could wet it even could talk
If it felt so it could get up and walk
Or the doll sitting there just being cute
Was more than the ragdoll had as a mute

But when the new doll broke on its first day
The ragdoll knew nothing that it could say
To ease the frown on the little girl's face
It knew she needed something to embrace

Take me! Oh, Take me! I'm right over here
Down the girl's cheek ran a shimmering tear
The little girl hugged the ragdoll for awhile
Both spirits were lifted on both faces a smile.



© Copyright 1999 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved
Christina Myers
Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 159

1 posted 1999-06-23 10:22 AM


I could actually visualize this poem.. very good example of showing not telling (yes, I've been in too many creative writing classes)....made me miss my old torn up bedpals of yesteryear..mine wasn't a rag doll- but a beat up big purple bunny!
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102
Texas
2 posted 1999-07-22 12:13 PM


way to go.....i can see why you are so proud of this one. great imagery.........brings back memories. thanks for sharing it.

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"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Gentle Soul
Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273
Vinton,Ohio USA
3 posted 1999-07-22 12:55 PM


Oh walt.. I love it.. it put tears in my eyes.. such a great poem!! so Real!! I love it!!!

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Gënt£ë¤§°û£


Princess Lily
Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149
USA
4 posted 1999-07-22 01:00 AM


One word-WONDERFUL!!
this is great.i could actually see this happening as i read it.

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We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe



DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

5 posted 1999-07-22 01:02 AM


Keep this up and we're gonna hold you to this standard, all the time.
Moonlight
Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 105
Auburn, Alabama USA
6 posted 1999-07-22 02:36 AM


what a great subject! good story great poem, walt!
Dragon
Member
since 1999-07-14
Posts 138
Highmount,NY ,USA
7 posted 1999-07-22 02:43 AM


Way to go Walt! Terrific!!

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cruz
Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282
Dallas,Texas USA
8 posted 2000-10-29 12:55 PM


This litter girl realized that she had a real doll and she almosts begins to neglect her.  Reminds me of Ragedy Ann and Andy!

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