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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 1999-06-23 12:16 PM


I'm a Readers Digest poet,
That's my claim to fame.
No PHD's or such degrees
Are written near my name

I was raised up in the heartland,
A simple, honest man.
Yes, I'm a Readers Digest poet
By gawd, that's what I am.

My bluejeans come from Levi's,
The clothes here on my back
And everything that I possess
Have come from off the rack.

My meals come from WENDY'S
When I'm not eating Spam
I'm just a Readers Digest poet,
By gawd, I surely am.

You can find me in each issue,
Some simple heart-felt poem
To ease some care for those out there
Who care to take me home.

Got a hundred helpful uses
To aid you in a jam
Cause I'm a Readers Digest poet
By gawd, I surely am.

I line dog cages with my pages,
Parakeets think I'm great!
Wives use me to beat their husbands
When they come home late.

But that's ok. I'll help my friends
Out anyway I can
Cause I'm a Readers Digest poet,
By gawd, I surely am.

Ain't smart enough to hide my thoughts
Like uptown poets do.
Ain't into messing no man's mind
With fluff and ballyhoo.

Just tell my story like it is
So folks can understand
Cause I'm a Readers Digest poet
By gawd, I really am.

Then, sometimes, when it's late at night
When all the chores are done
And hillsides fill with radiance
Beneath the setting sun.....

Someone may chance to pick me up
To take a peek within,
And feel a teardrop in their eye
Or smile upon their chin.

And, every time that happens,
Although we be far apart,
In some mysterious way, I know
I've touched somebody's heart..

So just look down if you want to
Cause I don't give a damn.
I'm just a Readers Digest poet -
By gawd, I'm proud I am!


[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 06-23-99).]

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 06-23-99).]

© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Christina Myers
Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 159

1 posted 1999-06-23 12:23 PM


"Parakeets think I'm great!" LOL

heheh I love the tongue in cheek

heheh excellent, balladeer

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
2 posted 1999-06-23 12:42 PM


What a great poem! Amused, by gawd that's what I am!

------------------
Dusk Treader - *Abrahm* pacing the path between dark and light.


Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
3 posted 1999-06-23 01:04 AM


Oh boy...spam, eh?? (hee hee) :P
I love it! If I had the need for kleenex this time, it would have been from laughing.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 1999-06-23 01:51 AM


Reader's Digest is one of the biggest selling magazines...YOU are one of the most prolific poets...yes, I'm glad you're a Reader's Digest poet, by gawd I am. At least I can understand what you're poetry means! (and did get that interesting little dig also!).


Krystal
Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140
Shelton,WA USA
5 posted 1999-06-23 04:28 AM


You certainly DO touch a lot of hearts... mine included.

------------------
Shannon D. Montgomery
("Krystal")

fjones
Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98
MS
6 posted 1999-06-23 06:12 AM


I am so glad you are a Readers Digest poet

Because I am so simplistic
That’s all I can understand.


[This message has been edited by fjones (edited 06-23-99).]

sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568
Oklahoma City, OK, USA
7 posted 1999-06-23 09:49 AM


I'm a great poet too!
Or at least so I think
I guess, by sweet Jaysus,
My poems really stink
I'm afraid starvation
Will be my destiny
Not even Reader's Digest
Is willing to publish me!


Ya done made me giggle Balladeer. Keep up the great work, I am enjoying it immensely!


------------------
Steven Seaman
A burden shared is a burden lightened
A life shared is a life enriched


Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
8 posted 1999-06-23 09:49 AM


bravo Balladeer.. been looking for another from you for days..heheh... glad you posted this.. made me laugh.. I needed that
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
9 posted 1999-06-23 03:25 PM


A light hearted, great piece of work! Another masterpiece!! Man, you gave me a good laugh. I have never heard poetry with the word Spam in it before (which ironically is a hated nickname of Dusk Treader..hehe). Anyways, wonderful job!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
10 posted 1999-06-23 03:50 PM


So flow the words from page to page
Love and peace, hurt and rage
Standing in the checker's aisle
All the quips which make me smile
Until, there gape I anew
A poem, by you know who
The Reader's Digest sublty smirks
With 'your stuff will never work'
Alas, I have but little cheer
Till I read words from Balladeer
And soft, sly smile lights my eye
At his sardonic, humourous jive
So many years I've toiled in vain
Twice almost slitting vein
Poetry scattered on the floor
In the trash and on the board
I muse while on my papered bed
'They'll like you best when you're dead'


Alicat


------------------
Le Jongleur Aspirante



Fred Hobbs
Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US
11 posted 1999-06-23 08:23 PM


Balladeer

A fitting comeback, man of words
To critics out there in the herds
Who deem the Digest too contrite
You again have won the night

sandman


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
12 posted 1999-06-23 09:57 PM


Ah do declare!! You are the greatest group of varmits I've ever seen, by gawd!!! Thankee all!

great, great job, Alicat!

Fred.....I thought you'd appreciate this one....thanks for your support.

Joyfulltune
Junior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 12

13 posted 1999-06-23 11:59 PM


I'm a beginner, but I know good stuff when I read it and I'd like to think I have good taste. You're very, very talented and I look forward to reading more of your work. And there's nothing wrong with Wendy's, I worked there for 3 yrs in high school. =0)
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
14 posted 1999-06-24 12:03 PM


Wow, a Readers' Digest poet...would I ever have seen any of your work? Or are you just joking around about that?
Augchic711
Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 80
O'Fallon, IL, USA
15 posted 1999-06-25 01:39 AM


Spam burgers rock!!!! Go Balladeer!!! I love your poems I had just read a few down poems, they were WONDERFUL but sad. Yours really cheered me up thank you as usual and yet again I have to say BRAVO BRAVO ENCORE!

*******Augchic711******

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
16 posted 1999-06-25 08:11 AM


Ya know, I could never decide between a Big Mac and a Wendy's Burger....

Sorry it took me so long to respond to this one, M&M and 2Lips - I had to go out to Wendy's for the second graphic....

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
17 posted 1999-06-25 12:06 PM


Thanks again.
Joyfulltune...There's NUTTIN wrong with a Wendys

Elizabeth...just kidding.

Augchic711..you got it. Spamburgers are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nan......time to change your medication!

elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
18 posted 1999-07-20 02:29 AM


i was going to so write a profound reply, but went to the store to buy spam instead

------------------
one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...eight short weeks...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...the mistress...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart...



~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
19 posted 1999-07-20 03:10 AM


K...I'm gonna go subscribe to Reader's Digest now...hehehehe... great one Balladeer! I love this, as usual!!!!

------------------
~onevoice~

"I never kissed somebody so that they would break my heart."


Linda
Junior Member
since 1999-07-19
Posts 11
Puyallup Wa
20 posted 1999-07-20 03:32 AM


You are a Great Inspiration and wonderful writer. Running to buy next Reader's Digest at pet shops everywhere!!!

------------------

Lindeee

armanca
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211
Tennessee
21 posted 1999-07-20 05:12 AM


I went and saw the play about Ballyhoo,
and i must say i'd rather being reading you.
I must confess; i must mention
you have really gotten my attention.
I'm sure your busy with many others
Poets, friends, sisters or even brothers
Yet you have taken time to answer me,
Showing very gracious hospitality.
I hope your work will be around for a while
because you really make me smile.

Starfish
Junior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 34
New Zealand
22 posted 1999-07-20 05:33 AM


Your poem made me laugh and smile, it grabbed a part of me. Your style is great - fun you know - you did touch a heart.
Poetwheel
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208
Canada
23 posted 1999-07-20 08:24 AM


Nice job Balladeer. Though my tastes are admittedly different (to say the least) I do enjoy your poems.

Here is an interesting tidbit. My ever crafty mother has constructed some little Santa (and Mrs. Claus) figurines using folded Reader's Digests as their bases.

If you have never seen it done I would be hard pressed to describe it to you.

At any rate, it is well fair to say that you are an annual fixture at my parents' house during the holidays. Congrats!

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html


Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
24 posted 2011-02-19 08:39 PM


I am right there with the parakeets and puppies - love that Reader's Digest Poet.  

A

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