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Passions in Poetry

Heavens Touch

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wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


0 posted 06-22-99 12:23 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for wayoutwalt

On there so high above she came
Born from a silver streak of flame
She tore a trail through my soul
Burning passion I cant control

Her beauty described in mere words
A sweeter song than morning birds
Who ever hope and ever try
To please her as she passes by

When she dips and when she bends
Her graceful body never ends
And when I look into her eyes
I see a fire that never dies

Watching her dance toward the ground
The greatest entrance makes no sound
And then forever my life has worth
I've seen where heaven touched the earth


[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 08-26-99).]

[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 08-26-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


1 posted 06-27-99 11:05 AM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

This has a dreamy feeling to it. Again, you have succeeded in structure, meter, and rhyme. The words dance. Very, very nice.
Krystal
Member
since 06-19-99
Posts 145
Shelton,WA USA


2 posted 06-27-99 03:36 PM       View Profile for Krystal   Email Krystal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Krystal

Beautiful, I loved it!

------------------
Shannon D. Montgomery
("Krystal")
Moonlight
Member
since 06-25-99
Posts 105
Auburn, Alabama USA


3 posted 06-27-99 03:43 PM       View Profile for Moonlight   Email Moonlight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Moonlight's Home Page   View IP for Moonlight

I loved it!
Especially the "Born in a silver streak of flame" line. Its clever and it flows really well. I agree with doreen peri about your structure, meter & rhyme.

~m o o n l i g h t~

------------------
www.auburn.edu/~fergum1
~*Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars*~

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


4 posted 06-27-99 06:41 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Thank you for sharing this one. Very enjoyable.

Andrew
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 06-28-99 09:52 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Very nice extended metaphor, wayoutwalt...
Keep 'em coming...
wayoutwalt
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since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


6 posted 06-28-99 11:54 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

thank you all so much can anyone tell me what the subject of the poem is..i've had many guesses
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


7 posted 06-28-99 12:14 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

I'm going to hazard a guess and say "sunshine?"
sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA


8 posted 06-28-99 12:15 PM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sea_of_okc

I don't know what you were aiming for walt but i saw an angel...
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


9 posted 06-28-99 10:25 PM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

tis all of those but when i wrote it i was lookin at a rainbow
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


10 posted 06-29-99 07:51 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

There it is... I see it!!
Augchic711
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 81
O'Fallon, IL, USA


11 posted 06-29-99 03:36 PM       View Profile for Augchic711   Email Augchic711   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Augchic711

Thanks again Walt,
This poem is beautiful it paints a beautiful and peaceful picture in my mind. I thank you for sharing this wonderful poem with me! And I hope that you will share many many more!

*******Augchic711*******
Newguy
Junior Member
since 06-27-99
Posts 36
Moultrie, GA, USA


12 posted 06-29-99 03:58 PM       View Profile for Newguy   Email Newguy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Newguy

Will you stop with the awesome lierature? You write wonderful poems; and this is another fine example.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 06-29-99 04:12 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Heaven's touch is the perfect name for this poem. and you used a heavenly touch to create it. Very nice, Walt.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


14 posted 08-25-99 01:08 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Walt, this is one heck of a gem you uncovered for me. Bravo!!

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvilŠ


Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


15 posted 08-25-99 01:12 AM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Beautiful Walt, very beautiful. I, like Moonlight, enjoyed the line-"Born in a silver streak of flame". Exellent work.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

I see the world through the loving eyes of my heart, and suffer the pain of unfulfilled visions. -- Daniel L. Miller


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


16 posted 08-25-99 10:27 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

I must of missed this the first time around. Now that I see what it is all about, it is quite beautiful. Great Job!
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


17 posted 08-25-99 10:33 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

This poem is the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow! It is a real gem!

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
Tim
Senior Member
since 06-08-99
Posts 1801


18 posted 08-25-99 11:38 PM       View Profile for Tim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tim

Liked it a lot Walt...
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


19 posted 08-26-99 04:06 AM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Fantastic Walt!!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


20 posted 08-26-99 04:25 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Walt,
I am sooooo glad this made it back to the top. This poem truly touched me in a way not many do. Have a tear in my eye as I'm writing this. Thank you.

Michael
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


21 posted 08-26-99 07:12 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Now this is "Beauty"!!!! Thanks for sharing Walt
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


22 posted 08-26-99 11:40 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Applauds...extreamly loudly
wonderful!!!!!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


23 posted 08-26-99 11:41 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Lovely!
cruz
Member
since 07-18-2000
Posts 289
Dallas,Texas USA


24 posted 10-29-2000 12:31 AM       View Profile for cruz   Email cruz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cruz

What's up???  I originally thought this was the sun ultimately setting and meeting the ground.  Turns out, it's a rainbow (I looked at responses)  What is "Born from a silver streak?" Just curious!!  I'm realizing how powerful the last 2 lines are...the last stanza for that matter.  Very serene.
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