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Passions in Poetry

Open my Soul

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ac
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 132
Cayey, PR - USA


0 posted 06-17-99 10:21 PM       View Profile for ac   Email ac   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for ac

Open my soul,
Throw out the key...
Leave it exposed,
Let it be free...

Open your eyes,
See what you'll find...
I assure you it's something,
you won't leave behind...

Give it no time,
or limits in space ...
My soul is much more
than you'll ever expect...

Open the lock,
and I'll hold the door...
to the place where I begin,
and you seem to unfold...

[This message has been edited by ac (edited 06-19-99).]
© Copyright 1999 ac - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 06-17-99 11:01 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

ac...I like the idea and the poem has a good cadence to it. I would like it more if the rymes in the last two stanzas were a little closer (space/expect, door/unfold). I am saying that to help, not criticize. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business, if you want.
daniel
New Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 1
San Juan, Puerto Rico


2 posted 06-17-99 11:04 PM       View Profile for daniel   Email daniel   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for daniel

I've said this myself sometimes. Unfortunately they never listen. Hope you have better luck.
ac
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 132
Cayey, PR - USA


3 posted 06-17-99 11:09 PM       View Profile for ac   Email ac   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ac

No, Balladeer, i appreciate the feedback, especially from you, I've read your work and I'm still in awe. Regardless, you're right, i'm usually really partial to the rhythm of what i write but it just flowed that way and i let it slip that time...
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


4 posted 07-21-99 08:19 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

lovely contend...too many close-minded people in the world today, afraid to open up to another

------------------
If I had my mouth I would bite. If I had my liberty I would do my liking. In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~

ac
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 132
Cayey, PR - USA


5 posted 07-28-99 11:07 AM       View Profile for ac   Email ac   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ac

I couldn't agree with you more...i wish more people would realize that it's when we let go and open up freely that we'll be able to find some common ground...
 
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