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When you were you
| Open Poetry #1 |
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When you were you |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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When you were you and I was me, The world was happy, young and free And every day brought ecstacy When you were you and I was me. When I was me and you were you, Amid the laughs and ballyhoo, Dreams had a way of coming true When I was me and you were you. But Time has a way of changing things. The present goes; the future brings Reminders of pasts that hurt and sting And 'nothing' where once lived 'everything'. Now the past is gone and you're not you Although you say it isn't true, Small facts of life keep showing through That tell me that you're still not you. A smile that comes a second late, And food left over on your plate; The way you faintly hesitate Before saying, "Everthing is great!" No, you're not you and - nor am I This lonely look...a listless sigh The tear still there behind my eye Although I laugh instead of cry. I am now what I used to be Before I had the chance to see What's hidden deep inside of me - The happy man you let me be. And you - you'll have a happy life You'll make some lucky man a wife, And, when pain cuts you like a knife, You'll pass it off as 'marital strife'. But, if pain finally gets you down, Then get back up and look around And listen to the lonely sound Of MILLIONS who have never found... That happiness is there to see, And be glad we had the chance to be In love, and loving, tenderly When you were you and I was me. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nimrod the Hunter Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 60 |
I can't even begin to grasp how you got as good at writing as you are. Everything you've written, EVERYTHING, is really good, and I think this is among the best of them even though it is hard to tell. The happiest people I know have told me that time hardly exists for them. While I constantly might look at my watch, they never look at it unless for a doctor's appointment or something. I don't understand it. "When you were you and I was me"..... which I interpret as when life was once sweet and innocent. ------------------ Nimrod the Hunter |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Interpretation correct, great Nimrod. Thanks for the kind words. |
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Genea Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 321USA |
Balladeer, This is a wonderful piece....i read different levels of meaning in it. I have read it over several times and pull something different and new from it each time. That is a sign of a great work for me. Thanks! ~Genea |
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Craig Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444 |
Absolutely, positively the best…………………………….. Sorry lost for words AGAIN Craig |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Frankly, I'm glad you are you...because you produce such wonderful works of art. Your mastery of the written word amazes me!  |
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Wolfgang Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 124Hamilton, Ont. Canada |
A poet with a pocket full of experience and living. You'll never hit your peak, Balladeer, you just keep getting better ------------------ Wolfgang |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
That's the nicest definition of "old man" I've ever seen!!! (kidding) Thanks, Wolf! |
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Augchic711 Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 80O'Fallon, IL, USA |
You are so entirely talented! I would like to say that you inspire me to write and love and enjoy life! I appreciate you sharing your excellent writing ability with me and other online writers! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
Speechless... feel like you wrote this about me and a woman I once loved... |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
Balladeer, And this is one that I would very much like to have written. What all here have said is true. You are VERY talented. sandman |
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Gilian New Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 8 |
I enjoyed this one. I hope you don't mind but I did a spin-off reply. It is under "If I were you" |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
For to find the old you, and the old me we'd have to take our own hesitant chance of going through that closed door to find if we could still together dance. Will you come? Will you be? Together again, and one with me? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks, Balladeer, for all of the food for thought. ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I got so lost in reading all the rave reviews, I forgot what the poem was about ! So I read it over again, and loved it even more the 2nd time around...You do have a romantic side to you...?? ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
To Balladeer, some times your poems are like a piece of candy and since I'm a candyholic I always over dose. It is an honor to know you and hope you will always be my friend. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yes, Sunshine. Femme....I sure do..sometime too much so. Sy, that's something you can always count on! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Balladeer, I heard you referred to as Romeo on another reply to one of your poems! That's pretty romantic!  |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Balladeer, I don't know to say that has already been said, but this is a fantastic piece of work! Like someone said up there, you just keep getting better and better! I love your work!  ------------------ ~onevoice~ "She looked at her life like lines, never-ending, constantly forming, reforming and bending." |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Kudos....Sensitivity is love and love is sensitivity....to each other! HUSG ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Well, I don't know what I could add here that hasn't been said already. Your work is truly inspiring. Wish I had your talent. |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Sir Balladeer, You must have a giant overflowing soul, for you get so much out of every experience you encounter, and to describe it all with such intreging detail, you are just a marvel. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I truly appreciate your comments very much. Thank you. |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
A lonely lament to be sure. but.. was it the "real" you and the "real" her....?? if not.. well.. that's what happens. Poetry is great.. but intimacy and honesty are truly the hard things to find.. and capture.. and usually.. they are very plain things.. not the things poetry is made of..except in the mind of the poet... I wrote the poem about lilacs describing how love "feels". and smells.. but remember.. those lilac bushes.. have very deep roots nurtured by long. and lonely and boring.. times.. when there is no bloom, no flower.. no nothing.. except the promise.. of spring.. I have no idea what I just said.. but it makes sense to me.. but.. the promise.. is ooohhh so sweet... [This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-14-99).] |
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moonmoon Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 277TX , USA |
Balladeer, This was such an awesome poem... I am new to this board (wonder where I had been so long...) You have an incredible place here !! I am still frantically trying to drink from the brimming chalice of this poetic abundance... Thanks soo much for this beautiful place..Looking forward to more of your poems & encouragement... Luna |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Some things are not for publication, Red. A man's gotta have a FEW secrets! |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Ah Balladeer, you've hit a strong note on this one. You said: quote: This is a profound assessment of loving innocently. It would make perfect sense that you can still love as you used to, but with the heart of a child. [This message has been edited by Artur Hawkwing (edited 08-13-99).] |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
I misread the quote I posted above. (edit) but fixed it. I need the practice to help my analyzing skills. Tell me where I go right, or wrong, 'k? [This message has been edited by Artur Hawkwing (edited 08-14-99).] |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
I should not read late at night. will post reply later [This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-14-99).] |
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Terri Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 82Turtle Creek, PA |
::sigh:: You are my idol! Thank you, Bal. When you were you and I was me We fit together quite seamlessly Displaying our love for the world to see When you were you and I was me. |
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Deb Lynne Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 180Where blue skies meet blue ocean |
Finally a place for the lost souls of poetry! And to find such talent. The pen is mighty in the hands as such people like yourself. Truly enjoyed this one. Hope to read many more! Beautiful piece. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Did you sneak this one when I wasn't looking, M&M??? Another good'n...... |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Sometimes, I wish I coudn't see the you that's you, the me that's me, for we are somehow much the same when life plays its fickle game; Where echoes sing a distant song And pine for one who's lost and gone. I would that joy should erase all residue and lonely trace of sadness born of bygone times, and keep you now in loving climes... for one you love through endless days to cherish you in all your ways. I like to think that the last two lines of this reply are true for you now. What a talented poet you truly are! |
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