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Open Poetry #1
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Fred Hobbs
Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US

0 posted 1999-06-11 09:42 PM


Inspired by Poet deVine

A homely lad was I in youth
A clumsy oaf and quite uncouth
A stable hand and nothing more
Unlikely that I'd ever score
With even one young maid of yore

My days were spent with rake and shovel
Cleaning out the horses' hovel
But later in my bed at night
I'd dream of dragons I would fight
And how I'd look in armour bright

One day a giddy mare broke loose
Tho' I gave chase there was no use
I stopped to breathe and there I spied
Sprawled on the English country side
A gallant knight who must've died

I peeled his armour from his bones
And lay it on some nearby stones
I had to air it out a bit
The suit smelled bad, no doubt of it
Then tried it on, a perfect fit

I found his trusty sword nearby
I picked it up and lo was I
A lowly stable hand no more
Instead a knight who proudly swore
I'd die to save a maid of yore

Of course some maids I had to meet
And so I found one in the street
I strode right up to her and said
"Is there one thing which you most dread?"
"Your armour sir; smells like it's dead"

"That smell is one of dragon's breath
This day I fought one to it's death
As I would gladly fight for you
If you would only ask me to"
She paused and said: "Here's what to do"


"A dragon lives in yonder hills
Outside my village and it kills
All those who travel out by day
Please slay that dragon and I say
To you I'll give my love away"

I sauntered forth into those hills
And heard a roar that brought me chills
Then came the beast ten meters high
With all of evil in its eye
I charged and gave my battle cry

I caught it by surprise you know
Rushed up and stabbed it in the toe
Alas t’was such a tiny cut
The beast breathed fire from its gut
I ran but still it singed my butt

I felt great heat upon my can
As I ran even faster than
A good knight ever-ever runs
My armour suit did toast my buns
Oh torment of a thousand suns

I headed for the nearest stream
And plunged right in amidst the steam
The dragon though caught quickly up
Peered down on me prepared to sup
Instead it let a loud hiccup

And slowly it began to make
A noise that caused the ground to shake
Its belly it began to hold
With long green wings it had to fold
It tumbled to the Earth and rolled

I’d never seen a dragon cry
With tears of laughter from its eye
It’s stomach heaving with delight
At my poor pathetic plight
I pee’d my armor just from fright

The dragon though, it harmed me not
And I returned to her distraught
I’m just a stable hand she’d see
I knew that she would laugh at me
The dragon had, why shouldn’t she?

She told me as she took my hand
“Though bold you were to make a stand
That dragon is a village pet
She’s never harmed another yet
The children call her Harriet”

She led me down a flowered path
And told me I must take a bath
She called me her Sir Lack-A Lot
Then took me to her downy cot
The next day that, she sayeth not

fh

© Copyright 1999 Fred Hobbs - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 1999-06-11 10:08 PM


My lord, yon bonny wench was ever true
Lack-a-lot does not describe you
With flair and humor in they pen
you are quite the best of men.
If any other doubts my word
I say that they are quite absurd
For you have given this lady pleasure
in a poem that I will surely treasure!

Thank you!


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 1999-06-12 05:31 PM


Fred,
Very, Very clever! Sounds like you had the knight of yore life. Were you dragon the next morning? Another excellent job. Thanks!

elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
3 posted 1999-07-21 12:11 PM


bravissimo sandman...i curtsey before your talent...this wonderful poem deserves to go back to the top



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-21-99).]

sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568
Oklahoma City, OK, USA
4 posted 1999-07-21 09:48 AM


Standing ovation for Fred! Wonderful, wonderful poem, thank you.
Fred Hobbs
Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US
5 posted 1999-07-21 09:03 PM


Thanks Elvira for finding this one. It must have been way back there under the pile. It's good to be on top!

sandman


IsabelleSkye
Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253

6 posted 1999-07-21 10:52 PM


I like it
I love it
I want some more of it
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Izzy

------------------
Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.....Henry David Thoreau

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