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Open Poetry #1
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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 1999-06-07 09:00 PM





I enjoyed making love to you last night.

I enjoyed holding you close to me and feeling
The softness of your skin blend with mine
As it had so many times before.

Your hair was different than I recall -
A bit blonder, perhaps
And a contented lifestyle may have added
A pound or two
Here and there
I don't care.

Surely you could sense how I'd missed you
By how I kissed you
And touched you
And clung to you.

I knew it was you

Even though you looked at me strangely
As I whispered your name
I wasn't fooled.

I knew it was you because
It was your name on my lips
And your voice in my ear
And your thoughts in my heart.

I don't know why you looked at me so strangely
In the early morning light
Or why you left so quickly
Without turning without speaking

But I know you'll come back. You always do.

Your hair may be a different color
Perhaps you'll change perfume.
Perhaps I may not notice
As you walk into the room.

But as I lay beside you,
One fact will still hold true
That, every time that I make love,
I'll be making love to you.

© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 1999-06-07 09:05 PM


()
()
()

Those are teardrops on my cheek! This was so sad!

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669
Michigan, US
2 posted 1999-06-08 12:32 PM


Now that was subtle. And very, very beautiful.

Ron

Red Letter
Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 85
Allentown, PA
3 posted 1999-06-12 06:53 PM


this has a very romantic message but I am curious as to whether it was meant to be freeverse or rhyme? I found the switching back and forth a bit distracting...

Just a thought,
Red

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 1999-06-12 07:12 PM


Good question, Red. Actually, there is no switching back and forth. The first part, dealing with the past is basically free verse and the last part, dealing with the future, is in rhyme. I did this intentionally. If I did a good job, the reader would be able to make the transition smoothly, almost unnoticeably.
If I didn't, it would be distracting. Oh, well, ya can't win 'em all.

ashlerr
Junior Member
since 1999-06-11
Posts 23
chino hills, ca usa
5 posted 1999-06-13 07:01 AM


maybe not them all but in this one with me you have. i have not much else to say but...great.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 1999-06-13 07:28 AM


Balladeer, this truly is excellent - I have to agree with the consensus here....
I bet this one is really exceptional when it's recited........


Red Letter
Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 85
Allentown, PA
7 posted 1999-06-13 05:40 PM


"Here and there/I don't care"? Doesn't that rhyme?

ok, ok, so I'm being a pain in the ass... just trying to make a point

hehehe
you know I still luv ya, Sweet!!!

Raven
Member
since 1999-06-14
Posts 67
Hopewell Jct, New York, USA
8 posted 1999-06-23 01:32 PM


That poem was so beautiful, I loved it!

------------------
"They sing the stories of the present, of people trapped in a shadow world" ~Charlotte Seley~

Krystal
Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140
Shelton,WA USA
9 posted 1999-06-23 04:53 PM


Beautiful....

------------------
Shannon D. Montgomery
("Krystal")

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 1999-07-07 01:42 PM


We all live in our memories at one time or another...or at least this is how it struck me. Quite charming...for old folks.

------------------
Sunshine

Words will always express our feelings true.
KRJ


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
11 posted 1999-07-07 02:50 PM


An absolutely amazing piece of work.........I sat spellbound in the trance you created with this poem. It gripped the reader from the beginning and took them on a wonderful, maddening joyride to the very end. The flow as smoothe as honey and just as tastey. A very sad tale of not being able to let go. You outdid yourself!!!

[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 07-08-99).]

Cinderella
Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152
Arizona
12 posted 1999-07-07 07:08 PM


What passion you show as I clung to every word! Marvelous as always.
Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 1999-07-07 08:37 PM


My warmest thanks to all of you. Hoot_owl, thank you very much!
Poetwheel
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208
Canada
14 posted 1999-07-07 08:48 PM


Great poem, though like most of the others, I didn't find it sad at all... Baladeer was it your intention for this one to leave the reader thinking the lovers scenario was a sad one? To me it is the comfortable feelings between two lovers who have grown together so well that they no longer pay attention to small changes; they are more concerned with the larger meaning of love and the comfort of being together. I'd probably get a whack if i read it to my wife though! Excellent capture here!
PW

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Poetic Wheelbarrow

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
15 posted 1999-07-07 09:10 PM


Afraid you blew a tire on this one, Poetwheel. It's about a man so enraptured with a past lover that, even though the affair is over, she is the only one in his mind, no matter who he is with and, in his delusional fantasy, he is always with her. You took the time to read it, study it and question it. That makes you aces with me! Thanks for your comment.

......and thank all of you very much.

IsabelleSkye
Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253

16 posted 1999-07-07 11:13 PM


I wonder, my friend, if there isn't a "secret" part in our hearts that we hold for someone special. I have one and I can relate to this poem totally. The mind is a great tool, with it we can delude ourselves, we can imagine anything. Is it a bit odd to be able to still feel someone's skin even after months of being apart? *SIGH* Well it looks like no answers could be given for a delusion like this. All in all I loved this, and I'll just ramble my way outta the door! Much Luv
IZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY

tulip
Member
since 1999-07-04
Posts 320
unknown
17 posted 1999-07-08 01:27 AM


Excellent!
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
18 posted 1999-07-08 01:51 AM


Glad you remembered. I'd forgotten about it until you reminded me.
-dp

Delilah
Junior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 36
The Wonderful America
19 posted 1999-07-08 01:56 AM


Beautiful...unique.

------------------
Delilah
:)

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

20 posted 1999-07-08 03:03 AM


Occasionally a piece of poetry, not lost in Darkness, grabs me. This was one.

------------------
I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say.



Poetwheel
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208
Canada
21 posted 1999-07-08 10:45 AM


Ahhh! After a reread I caught the message. It was completely lost on me the first time around - this is not due to your style, its simply becase I didn't read it with an open mind... Excellent! Even better after the 2nd read. Thanks for the signal flare.
PW

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Poetic Wheelbarrow

Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
22 posted 1999-07-08 03:05 PM


...and my undying thanks to all of you.
Leigh Anne
Junior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 48
Scottsboro, AL USA
23 posted 1999-07-08 03:24 PM


Dearest Balladeer,
Your continued words of beauty and truth have a way of inspiring me, at my most uninspirable times! Keep it up!

blueloon
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161
NY
24 posted 1999-07-08 03:40 PM


need i say more than "thank you." your words are enchanting.

blueloon

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
25 posted 2005-02-01 05:04 AM


MR.MAck, this is just beautiful,I wish I had had such a past love!. marty
Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
26 posted 2005-02-01 08:21 PM


Ah, Marty, call me Michael...please! and, if you don't have a past love like that I'm sure you'll have a future one that fits the bill
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
27 posted 2005-02-10 02:04 AM


Have come back to read this three times.So lovely. marty
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
28 posted 2005-02-10 03:50 PM


OhBalladeer~
This IS beautifully expressed ... oh, how I know that lover~

I've just swiped this one for framing~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
29 posted 2005-02-10 11:04 PM


Thank you, Marge. I always enjoy getting framed by you
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
30 posted 2005-05-19 11:29 AM


Always loved this one, so back to the top. marty
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
31 posted 2005-11-25 02:04 PM




oh this is something that needs to be bumped.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
32 posted 2005-11-25 08:10 PM


a bump from you is always welcome, Susan
ladylisa
Member
since 2007-04-29
Posts 342
Florida USA
33 posted 2007-05-28 04:14 PM


Wow, I am moved.  Said a great deal to me about love, past and present.  Thanks for sharing this.
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