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Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 1999-09-27 05:27 PM

Per request of the author, this post has been moved to the Critical Analysis Forum

A lesson that we need to learn
is hard and cold and fast.
Depend upon the love of you
it's the one that lasts.

Upon this love all else is built
the foundation true and firm.
And in the darkest hours of life
that love most sure, confirm.

To touch from love is easiest
when the foundation is true and strong.
No darkness can turn out that light,
no body mute your song.

Hope can spring eternal
when you strive to be your best.
Listen to those who build you up
and to hell with all the rest.

True love will someday find you
if you concentrate on living.
True love will finally find you
if you concentrate on giving.

[Note: This message has been edited by Nan]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-09-27 09:17 PM

Amen!

------------------
Denise

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

2 posted 1999-09-27 09:58 PM

How true!!

Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

3 posted 1999-09-27 10:39 PM

I LOVED THIS! Where's my print button?

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Thou who has given so much to me,
give one thing more: a grateful heart.
>George Herbert

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 1999-09-27 10:46 PM

Thankyou all. I don't know how to express my happiness . I am so new to poetry. I have written but never with the express purpose of showing my work. You make me glad I decided to show it.

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

5 posted 1999-09-28 05:28 AM

While not in strict meter, the flow of your poem is unmistakable. Make no mistake, I am not a purist in form. I think you should go where the Muse takes you and with this piece it took you far. There are also a few spots of rough rhyme but those are easily smoothed. All in all, a wonderful piece which I am glad you brought to us here at Passions.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 1999-09-28 02:00 PM

Marilyn,
I agree with dreamEvil, Good poem.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

7 posted 1999-09-28 02:10 PM

Thanks Marilyn I needed this today! Great poem!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 1999-09-28 04:50 PM

I wouldn't mind if true love hurried up a bit... I'm getting OLD! LOL

Seriously... I enjoyed the poem, Marilyn! And welcome!

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

9 posted 1999-09-28 09:09 PM

DreamEvil....rough edges I know I have. I am very new to poetry. I have written for therapy and very recently decided to pursue it. I have a lot to learn and I appreciate your input.

Seymour..Thankyou. :0)

WhtDove....I am truely greatful it touched you. That was excatly my intend when writing it.

suthrn.....I can relate! I too am getting old...LOL.

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