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Open Poetry #2
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loverbaby
Junior Member
since 1999-09-07
Posts 15
Sioux City Iowa

0 posted 1999-09-26 10:55 PM


i sit here now
at the edge of the bed.
before dawn rises
tring to be careful
so that you don't see me leave
you as just another memorie
because i fear that if i stay
i will see you at the edge of this bed
and i don't think that i could take it
so i sit here now putting on my left shoe
knowing that when you awaken
this bed will seem so much larger and colder
but i ma no the one that is suposed to keep it warm
please forgive me sweet soul but i must go now

------------------
Niki Frady

© Copyright 1999 loverbaby - All Rights Reserved
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 1999-09-26 11:01 PM


I am not a critic of form. I have enough trouble with it myself. The message is clear and it is sad that fear drives you away from the possibility of warmth, comfort and safety. The feeling was very clear here. It is sadness and fear.
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
2 posted 1999-09-27 12:42 PM


The feelings i got were aloneness, sadness and fear. And the awful feeling you'd get for leaving. Is this what you wanted in a response? Hope it helped..

------------------
A hero is a man who does what he can.
~Isis~
(The Fragile Rose)



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