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Passions in Poetry

*Crimson Star*

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Aldo
New Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2
Some where in the the depths t


0 posted 09-26-1999 04:30 PM       View Profile for Aldo   Email Aldo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aldo

This is my first poem and I wanted to share it with some one and fortunately I found you!!!

Crimson Star

My love for you proclaimed in words
Could never be out spoken,
My visions lost when hopes die
Now I'm lost and broken.

Your distant kiss a dream so far
A torturous burning lie,
Lost in spite of all I see
In every tear stained try.

Raindrops bring relief from thirst
Yearning to be free,
A wondrous tree all made of stone
My cold eternity.

With arms out stretched palms to the sky
I'll never be alone,
Burning star from blinding heights
Watches from his throne.

[This message has been edited by Aldo (edited 09-26-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Aldo - All Rights Reserved
Lelly Shae
Junior Member
since 09-20-1999
Posts 32


1 posted 09-26-1999 04:33 PM       View Profile for Lelly Shae   Email Lelly Shae   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lelly Shae

For your first poem,this is really,really
good. I love the title.
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 09-26-1999 04:38 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Your first work. Very nice. I have posted my first works here as well. I do not have the style of a poet. Just the depth of my soul. I have come here to learn. Poetic style is something I lack. You have done a wondeful job here.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


3 posted 09-26-1999 04:42 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Welcome to Passions Aldo!
As for the first try, well I hope it won't be your last! This work shows a lot of potential.
I really liked the line:
"Burning star from blinding heights"
Welcome again!
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


4 posted 09-26-1999 04:44 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Echoes of Christopher here. Welcome indeed and do present your work again.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvilŠ

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 09-26-1999 08:31 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Beautiful!! Welcome to Passions, looking forward to more

------------------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 09-26-1999 08:53 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very lovely, Aldo. I enjoyed this.

------------------
Denise
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