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Passions in Poetry

I Died Today

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JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


0 posted 09-25-1999 04:12 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

I died today.
Not in body, no,
That would have been far better.
I killed my soul,
I pulled out my heart,
and obliterated it, completely.

My fear killed me.
Fear of happiness,
fear of love,
fear of being a whole man.

I looked on the face of joy,
and it scared the hell out of me.
For so long, I have been a fortress.
Superman's fortress of solitude,
was a castle of sand
compared to the walls within my soul.

I touched happiness by chance,
not looking for what I found.
I drank from its limpid pool,
quenching a raging thirst,
I did not realize that I had.

I am a coward.
A coward afraid of his own heart.
Running from the love she gave,
like those in search of the grail,
when faced with the cave rabbit.
"Run away! Run away!"

Am I bitter? Yes.
Not at her, but at myself.
She did nothing, but offer.
Offer me the love I needed,
offered to erase the pain of nothingness,
which I had grown accustomed to.

Her energy enlivened me,
her intelligence intrigued me,
her beauty aroused me,
her perfection enthralled me,
her love fulfilled me,
and I ran like a frightened child.

Safe now, in my comfortable gloom.
No one to elicit joy in my heart,
no one coaxing my soul to feel,
no one upsetting my solitude.
No one to quiet the cacophony
of tormented screams in my mind.

Once again my heart languishes,
in the dormancy of winter's grasp.
Once again in my wretched void,
safe from the threat of happiness,
protected from the horror of love.

In my self imposed agony,
I hold tightly to spirit's extinction.
Acid tears cleansing me of love.
In my sorrow, I embrace the death,
I have visited upon my soul.


------------------
Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

© Copyright 1999 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved
Star Fairy 2
Member
since 09-06-99
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa


1 posted 09-25-1999 04:46 PM       View Profile for Star Fairy 2   Email Star Fairy 2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Star Fairy 2

very nice piece. i loved it.

------------------
"If to rectify your demeanor,
You must imitate another,
Your philosiphy on morality
Is a burden on your mentality,
Your actions based on popularity,
Will never fulfill you internally,
Cuz the world was not blessed with equality,
But rather with fake geniality.
--823--
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 09-25-1999 04:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is very well done, JP. Very sad, full of emotion and pain.

------------------
Denise
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
3 posted 09-25-1999 05:22 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I could feel all the emotions in this JP..the fear, the anger, the lonliness and the security in the KNOWN......very well written Sir.......

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


4 posted 09-25-1999 06:55 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

Very nice, the raging frustration of the piece is loud and clear.

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 09-25-1999 07:57 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

You certainly are intense, my dear...
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


6 posted 09-25-1999 08:10 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Wonderfully done, you described those tumultous feelings beautifully..

------------------
A hero is a man who does what he can.
~Isis~
(The Fragile Rose)


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