to our baby girl in heaven, god please give her as much love as we would have

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amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

0 posted 1999-09-24 02:09 AM

" to our baby girl,and my husband"

its so hard for me to tell you,
to look into your beautiful eyes,
and hold back all of this pain,
thats killing me inside.

its so hard to take away your dreams,
with words ripping in my soul,
i know you would have loved her,
so many times you told me so.

its so hard to stop from wondering,
who she would have become,
this is the deepest pain ive ever felt,
and to know its all from love.

its so hard to break your heart,
because mine's showing no sign of mending,
i wish that i could change so much,
but there is no use in pretending.

its so hard to ask you,
what your feeling now,
becuase the pain is unexplainable,
still ill try somehow.

ill try to tell you that im sorry,
that i can not change this,
i know inside it feels so wrong,
so much that well miss.

tell you that i need her,
more than she ever needed me,
to look into her eyes,
the ones ill never see.

tell you that im dying inside,
just as her tiny body did,
god my love i love you,
please find some way to help me through this.

wiping away your tears,
you place your hand on my stomach,
and you whisper to me soflty,
"this seems so unfair, doesnt it?"

i wish you knew how right you were,
in that heart tearing moment,
and every tear falling from your eyes,
offered no condolence.

i kneeled beside my bed,
a loss for words in my heart,
still i knew what must be said,
even though it tore me apart.

"god please keep her safe,"
"and tell her that i love her,"
"and when shes old enough to speak,"
"tell her im her mother,"
"and the man thats lying next to me,"
"she can call him daddy,"
"hes hurting an awful lot right now,"
"but he just wants her to be happy,"
"maybe you could show me,"
"her beautiful face someday,"
"for now please take could care of her,"
"and it breaks my heart she couldnt stay."

you woke to my tears last night,
and held me until the morning,
the sun had slipped away,
and the rian started pouring.

my soul is lost my love,
and i cant find it anywhere,
but i know we will get through this,
even though it seems to much to bear.

please my daughter,
in heaven now,
know that our love will always be here,
and you always will remain our angel.
we miss you so much,
but know that your safe,
maybe you deseved much more than we could give,
and i know in heaven youll recive that,
jsut remember well always be mommy and daddy.

[This message has been edited by amber (edited 01-05-2000).]

kk
Junior Member

since 1999-09-16

Posts 14

1 posted 1999-09-24 03:35 AM

amber, ~huge warm hugs~....
this broke my heart, i cried as i read on.....my heart and prayers go out to you, your husband and your family.......
please find comfort in knowing that your baby girl is very special and that God needed this little Angel with him now.

May God bless you all and give you the comfort and strength to carry on......

kk

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

2 posted 1999-09-24 03:41 AM

Amber: I'm so very sorry....

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

3 posted 1999-09-24 07:10 AM

Amber, {{{{HUGS}}}} Your family will be in my prayers.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

4 posted 1999-09-24 08:03 AM

Amber, you did a beautiful poem! God loved this little angel so much, He wanted her with Him! God bless you and your family. I am truly sorry for your loss!
((((BIG HUGS))))

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

5 posted 1999-09-24 08:26 AM

Amber...more HUGS sent your way....so very, very sorry

Lorelei54
Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 458

6 posted 1999-09-24 08:28 AM

Amber, my heart goes out to you and yours...I lost a baby daughter almost 18 years ago, I know the pain you feel, and I promise you she is loved, God holds her and loves her and she feels your love. The sun will shine on you again and the world will be bright again. Give it time and remember that God loves you too. Take care of yourself. If you want to email me and chat, I'm here, now or later.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

7 posted 1999-09-24 09:54 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. God picks the sweetest Angels to join him in Heaven - as he did with your angel. Take care.

Tara Simms
Senior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA

8 posted 1999-09-24 10:03 AM

This broke my heart, I have tears running everywhere. I can feel your loss, desperation through your words. When you prayed, I was on my knees with you. Big Hugs for you and your husband.

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Work like you don't need the money, love like it's never going to hurt, dance like nobody's watching.

Visit my poetry website: www.geocities.com/Paris/Musee/9954/

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 1999-09-24 10:07 AM

Amber: My deepest sympathy to you and your family... my heart aches for you.... my prayers go up for you.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

10 posted 1999-09-24 11:08 AM

Amber...my heart goes out to you and your family. I can't say I know the grief that you yourself are feeling as everyones grief differs...but I do know what you are going through.

------------------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

11 posted 1999-09-24 02:22 PM

thank you all so much. no matter what the situation everyone here always seems to shed a little light my way. i appreciate your prayers, and hold them in my heart always. (even though it is still breaking and i cant seem to stop it)but nevertheless thank you.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

12 posted 1999-09-24 04:23 PM

Let me tell ya something sweets....I'm an old scalawag for sure.....A smart ass, a half assed poet, a very loving father, and have been in the exact same shoes as YOUR HUSBAND, not you...I say that cuz nobody knows the feeling of carrying a baby....losing a baby....and the anguish the mother has....NO ONE! But, I've lost two...my "then" wife couldn't carry the baby past 5 or 6 months....they'd be born alive...one lived 1 day, one three days.....The feelings of helplessness are pure torture. The emptiness is almost as terrible I know. I guess my wife and I never really got over it....but we did learn many valuable lessons. One, that God really does work in mysterious ways? (That usually is the excuse many Christians use when they don't have an answer), but in this case it's true. After our second daughter's death, a procedure was invented called a "circlage"..(the spelling may be incorrect), that's where they sew together the cervix approx. two to three inches above the opening/nerve endings to prevent premature labor. This was discovered because of my wife's heartbreak...during her labor! It has probably saved thousands of premature delivery babies. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that knowing this, due to my heartbreaks, my wife's heartaches, it was a blessing to countless others. Time will heal, you'll never forget, your heart and mind will always grieve...but your sweet child is in great hands, there will be others hopefully in your future.....and then, perhaps, you'll smile again....as your sweet baby is smiling down on you................Bless you....

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 09-24-1999).]

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 09-24-1999).]

amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

13 posted 1999-09-24 05:22 PM

i appreciate your words, and congratulations to you and your wife. i know my heart is very heavy at the moment, my soul so unsure of gods reasons, but i know he must have them. thank you for your encouragement, and the sentiment to think, my baby girl is smiling down on me now. thank you.

Starith
Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 176
Leesburg, FL USA

14 posted 1999-09-24 06:21 PM

Amber I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry for your loss...I don't know what it feels like to lose a child, but I know the feeling of loss you get when someone you love dearly is taken away. God calls home his childern when it is time for them to go, some he calls home sooner than others.

My heart and prayers go out to you and your husband. May you both find peace.

Toe: I am also sorry for your loss.

God bless you all.

Star

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We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

15 posted 1999-09-24 07:12 PM

Amber my dear friend, I lost a daughter to miscarriage, I know all that you are feeling.
It's been 21/2 years since I lost her and I still miss her terribly..she is my angel up in heaven. My love, sympathy, understanding and (HUGS) are with you at this time. I wasn't in Passions when I lost her, I wish I had been, as everyone here is so loving, caring and understanding.

------------------
A hero is a man who does what he can.
~Isis~
(The Fragile Rose)

PhaerieChild
Senior Member

since 1999-08-30

Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon

16 posted 1999-09-24 07:53 PM

Amber...I am so sorry for your loss and both you and your husband are on my list for prayer. Please know that God has a plan not only for your angel but for you and your husband too. I know it isn't easy but please don't lose the faith in Him that you've shown in the past. As the Good Book says lean not unto your own understanding. Your angel is watching.

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What you hid from your parents as kids, you will hide from your kids as parents. ~Cletus T Judd~

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

17 posted 1999-09-24 07:59 PM

amber, I have been there.

Just as I know no words can describe your sorrow, I also know that no words can ease it.

May you and your husband find comfort in one another, and may time bring you healing.

Nocht

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"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

Deb Lynne
Member

since 1999-08-19

Posts 180
Where blue skies meet blue ocean

18 posted 1999-09-24 08:57 PM

God called another angel home
A tiny one with wings
Who has the sweetest voice
That makes music when she sings

She sits by the Father's side
And lovingly shares his day
And is watching over you
In a very special way

She sends you a touch of heaven
Each day with the morning sun
Her life has not ended
It has really just begun

She's begun a special journey
With a new place to call home
Where she's surrounded by love
And will never be alone

She knows how much you love her
Her heavenly Father told her so
And he'll always thank you
For having the courage to let her go

Bless you, dear mommy and daddy
She's safe in the promised land
Making friends with the angels
And holding the Father's hand

God bless you both.

caroline
Senior Member

since 1999-08-16

Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm

19 posted 1999-09-24 09:16 PM

Amber, my friend... You and yours have my prayers, thoughts and heart.

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

20 posted 1999-09-24 09:27 PM

Amber, Please forgive me for writing about my daughter too. Not exactly fair, but your poem got me thinking...hope you understand another grieving Mummy..
And it is Mummy here not Mommy in Australia.

------------------
A hero is a man who does what he can.
~Isis~
(The Fragile Rose)

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

21 posted 1999-09-24 09:53 PM

Amber, I am worried now, you are ok with me I hope?

------------------
A hero is a man who does what he can.
~Isis~
(The Fragile Rose)

Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

22 posted 1999-09-24 11:40 PM

Amber:
Saying sorry just doesn't seem enough,
a Hug seems so cheap. I wish there
were more we could do to help with
your pain. I am not discrediting
others for the condolances sent your way.
For I too, am poor with words for they
can not even address your pain. I hope
one day you can come again, to share
joy once again. I can only pray for you,
and all of yours for healing in God's name.

I think there is a strength in you that
right now you may not be able to recognize,
I think it took a lot of strength to write
this poem.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Thou who has given so much to me,
give one thing more: a grateful heart.
>George Herbert

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

23 posted 1999-09-25 12:39 PM

Amber,
my words may not be much of a condolence. I'm terribly sorry that you lost your baby. I cant promise you prayers, or say I believe that she is in heaven, because I dont know that. I truly am sorry if that sounded hopless and cruel. But I do believe in fate.
And there was a reason your daughter was taken so soon.....
That is something I have faith in,
And I don't have faith in many things.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

amber
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 240
los banos, ca,

24 posted 1999-09-25 03:16 AM

thank you all so much once agian, your probably getting tired of that one but i seem to be at a loss for words right now. all of you have so much compassion for me, and i have never seen such sweetness in anyone. i seem to find that little once of comfort that i havent been able to find anywhere, and youve all given it to me, and i can not thank you enough for that. isis, my friend, i understand completley, and it was not inappropriate at all, i am sorry though if i brought back any memories or feelings that were hard for you. i jsut wish these last few hours, and days that i could loose touch with my emotions for the moment, kinda loose sight of where things are going jsut long enough to understand where i am. Deb Lynne, if you only knew what your peom brought to my heart. not to mention tears to my heart. no one has ever written anything for me, or even about anything that has happened to me. i hope my baby can see all of the wonderful things you have all said about her, and wished for us all. i dont really know how to thank you only tell you that your all in my hearts, and i will never forget any of these moments, even the painful ones, and will always remember how kind you all are.

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