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Passions in Poetry

Mother's first moments (a pantoum, challenge from WhtDove)

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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


0 posted 09-23-1999 10:09 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Skyfyre

I was lifted up on angel's wings
The first time I beheld your elfin face.
I was enchanted by the little things;
No joy on earth that vision could replace.

The first time I beheld your elfin face,
The miracle of you had struck me dumb;
No joy on earth that vision could replace
When tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb.

The miracle of you had struck me dumb --
No moment was more sanctified than this --
When tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb,
My spirit knew a rich, euphoric bliss:

No moment was more sanctified than this;
I was enchanted by the little things.
My spirit knew a rich, euphoric bliss ...
And I was lifted up on angel's wings!


------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")


[This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 09-23-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


1 posted 09-23-1999 10:19 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Wow...beautiful...

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Mockery is a form of ignorance; silence, a form of wisdom. -- Daniel L. Miller

Starith
Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 181
Leesburg, FL USA


2 posted 09-23-1999 10:22 PM       View Profile for Starith   Email Starith   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Starith

This is simply beautiful...I can feel your joy and pride...what a perfect way to describe such a wonderful miracle.

Another great piece!

Star

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We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


3 posted 09-23-1999 10:47 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

this is beautiful, i love this style of poetry

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


4 posted 09-23-1999 11:03 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Nocht you met the challenge very well! Amazing what a small little miracle will do to one isn't it? Very beautiful!
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


5 posted 09-23-1999 11:14 PM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

Nocht, I don't usually like pantoums, but I LOVE THIS ONE! it's so tender, loving, proud. how well i recall those moments!

------------------
Work like you don't need the money, love like it's never going to hurt, dance like nobody's watching.

Visit my poetry website: www.geocities.com/Paris/Musee/9954
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


6 posted 09-24-1999 07:26 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

You've written a lovely pantoum - I don't know which is my favorite among the formats, but I do seem to keep returning to the pantoum. Your rhyme scheme is flawless, and your meter is a consistent iambic pentameter - The only critical comment I could muster up is that the first line is one syllable short of pentameter.... Geesh - That's pretty good, my friend...
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 09-24-1999 10:55 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Excellent...you lived up to the challange well. This was absolutely beautiful

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Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


8 posted 09-24-1999 01:58 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Thank you all for reading and responding ... I had a lot of fun doing this one, as this truly was one of the most unforgettable moments of my life ... when I read the challenge phrase, this was the event that popped into my head, and the rest was easy ...

I dedicate this with all the love my heart can hold to my daughter and son, whose innocence and character infused what was once a directionless life with new meaning and hope ...

Nocht

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
9 posted 09-24-1999 03:11 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

WOW....wonderful....enjoyed this much

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


10 posted 09-24-1999 03:14 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Excellent pantoum dear Lady!

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Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvilŠ

traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


11 posted 09-28-1999 09:17 AM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Simply beautiful ...
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