How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #2 Archive
 RE-WRITE Second Best
 1 2 3 4
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

RE-WRITE Second Best

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
AliceInWonderLand
New Member
since 09-23-1999
Posts 5
Philadelphia


0 posted 09-23-1999 04:04 PM       View Profile for AliceInWonderLand   Email AliceInWonderLand   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AliceInWonderLand


Thanks for all you comments, I tried to put less I's... no matter what the meaning of this poem is still the same..


SECOND BEST

You said that girl you kissed last night met nothing, and you'll never see her again, so I take you back on your word, and my ears reject all your new promises and place them with the empty ones they already heard.

And still, my lonely heart takes you back, even with all this pain and worry laid upon my chest, but I guess its something I have to settle for when I settle for second best.

And maybe you don't know how much you hurt me or maybe that is what you like, but I always seem to let you..... And I don't know why I let this go so far, maybe I'm just afraid to be alone, or maybe pain is the only real thing I ever knew....

I feel like I'm going backwards up a slide and its all my fault that my life is such a mess, but I guess its something that I want, but don't want to settle for, but don't think I deserve more than second best..
© Copyright 1999 AliceInWonderLand - All Rights Reserved
anonymousposter
New Member
since 09-23-1999
Posts 3


1 posted 09-23-1999 10:58 PM       View Profile for anonymousposter   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for anonymousposter

definately worth another go, back
up to the top...
Julie
Senior Member
since 08-20-99
Posts 742
Houston, TX


2 posted 09-24-1999 04:52 PM       View Profile for Julie   Email Julie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Julie

It flows so well! Good job. To the top!

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Thou who has given so much to me,
give one thing more: a grateful heart.
>George Herbert



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 09-24-1999 05:28 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Nicely written....
I like this line
"maybe pain is the only real thing I ever knew.... "


------------------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!
Lorelei
Junior Member
since 09-22-1999
Posts 23
Philadelphia, PA


4 posted 09-25-1999 07:11 PM       View Profile for Lorelei   Email Lorelei   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Lorelei's Home Page   View IP for Lorelei

Excellent!!! Well, maybe I am a little biased, since i'm your friend, but this poem helped me get out of a bad situation. I hope it helps others like me... Up to the top you go. Oh and, it does flow better without all those I's. Has a better rhythm.
AliceInWonderLand will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #2 >> RE-WRITE Second Best Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors