That place with padded walls a
Where is my shoe?
I can't find it, what will I do?
I poke around, looking for
A hidden boot behind a door
Or under a bed, down the stairs.....
Or WAIT! Shoes are found only in pairs!
So I grab its mate and beseechingly ask
"Could you do me one favor, one simple task?"
"Now what," The left shoe moans
"The right boot is missing," I mournfully moan
"Oh NO!" it screams, now wide awake
"My friend is not lost, it's some sort of mistake!"
"No mistake," I'm sorry to say
"But if you will help, we'll find it today."
So the left shoe and I sear all around
WE look all day, turn the house upside down
By now it's clear we won't find its mate
And the footwear at hand is clearly irate
"You stupid asshole, incompetent fool,
My friend and I were only your tools!
All we had was each other, and now that is lost
I'm heartsick, and hurt, and you'll pay the cost!"
"Hey!" I yell, "What about you?
It disappears in the night, and what did you do?
You fell asleep and wouldn't wake up
Didn't you worry? Come now, speak up!"
It jumps to the counter, this old leather boot
"The right shoe never came back you big nin-com-poop!
You came in last night, kicked me off in the hall
Stumbled off drunk, and I heard you fall
My friend never came back, I waited all night
And dozed off at dawn when it still wasn't in sight
I couldn't help it, I was exhausted and stressed
What did you do with my friend? Come on, confess!"
Now I'm furious at being accused
"Shut up now, shoe, I'm not amused
Why would I do anything to my only right boot?
I looked for it all day with the little help you'd contribute!
You really don't seem to honestly care
And now that I think, I have a left boot to spare!"
With that I grab the hated thing
It yells "Don't threaten me, you evil fiend!"
And now theres laces around my neck
I am helpless, fighting for breath
I glance at my feet which are stuck like a root
Lo and behold! The right boot is still on my foot!
How ironic, I can't even let out one last cry
Even though I dont have to, now I will die.