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Open Poetry #2
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Rainbow Dress (comments Please!)
| Open Poetry #2 |
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Rainbow Dress (comments Please!) |
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DBeth Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 110providence,ky.42450 |
I wrote this a few years ago.Any comments will be greatly appreciated! She wore a white dress. and a rainbow ribbon in her hair. One candle burns on her birthday cake,Mom & Dad are there,wishing they could be like her without a care. She wore a pink dress,to her school on her very first day. Mom & Dad drove her there, and they cried as they drove away. Tears for her,but more tears for yesterday. She wore a blue dress,and rode her bike to the corner store. Daddy said now he's leaving for good,then he slams the door. No good-byes,no more Daddy anymore. And her Mother said, It's not your fault that he went away. There was nothing you could do. Just please believe me when I say I'm so very proud of you. She wore a red dress,and her Mothers single strand of pearls. Dressed and ready for the Senior prom,what a lovely girl. And her Mother said, It's not your fault that he went away. There was nothing you could do. Just please believe me when I say I'm so very proud of you. She wore a white dress. One candle burns as it did before. Her baby smiles at the sad old man,standing at the door. And her Daddy said, I don't know what I ever left here for. And before he left, he laid a gift,on baby's little bed. Inside they found a rainbow dress of White,Pink Blue and Red. DBeth ------------------ When we give of ourselves whole heartedly,it comes back around ten fold. |
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| © Copyright 1999 DBeth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
Dbeth.. I liked the concept of this poem.. if you clean up the lines and the rythme a little.. make it flow more evenly. It could become an outstanding poem.  |
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DBeth Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 110providence,ky.42450 |
Thank you Lucie.Can you help me with it? DBeth ------------------ When we give of ourselves whole heartedly,it comes back around ten fold. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I loved it.... applauds!!! ------------------ "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus |
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DBeth Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 110providence,ky.42450 |
Thank you Hoot! It was one of my firsts,I wasn't real sure about. DBeth ------------------ When we give of ourselves whole heartedly,it comes back around ten fold. |
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