Ala bam a
My brother was friends with Chad Mitchell, a folk singer who led the "Chad Mitchell" trio back in the 60's.....My brother was involved with a guy named Mike Brown, and from a production number done in 1952, they together with Chad Mitchell wrote a poem, then it was turned into this song....thought it was good for a laugh....
"One very exciting area of folk idiom and folk music has always been the hatchet murders in Massachusetts. This quaint bit of suburban living can best be explained through poetry put to song;
Elizabeth Borden took an ax
And gave her mother forty whacks,
When the job was nicely done
She gave her father forty one!
Yesterday in old Fall River, Mr. Andrew Borden died,
And he got his daughter Lizzie on a charge of homicide.
Some folks say she didn't do it, and others say she did,
But they all agree Miss Lizzie B. was a problem sort of kid.
'Cuz ya can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Not even if it's planned as a surprise,
No you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts,
You know how neighbors love to criticize.
She got him on the sofa where he'd gone to take a snooze,
And I hope he went to heaven' cuz he wasn't wearin' shoes,
Lizzie kinda rearranged him with a hatchet, so they say,
And then she got her mother in that same old fashioned way,
But you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts,
Not even if you're tired of her cuisine,
No, you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts,
You know it's almost sure to cause a scene.
Well, they really kept her hoppin' on that busy afternoon,
With both down and upstairs choppin while she hummed a ragtime tune,
They really made her hustle and when all was said and done,
She'd removed her mother's bustle when she wasn't wearin' one.
Oh, you can't chop your Momma up in Massachusetts,
And then blame all the damage on the mice,
No you can't chop your Momma up in Massachusetts,
That kind of thing just isn't very nice.
Now, it wasn't done for pleasure and it wasn't done for spite,
And it wasn't done because the lady wasn't bright,
She'd always done the slightest thing that mom and dad had bid,
They said, "Lizzie cut it out!" so that's exactly what she did.
But you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts,
And then get dressed and go out for a walk,
No, you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts,
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York.
Shut the door, bolt and latch it!
Here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet!
Such a snob I heard it said,
She met her pa and cut him dead!
Jump like a fish, jump like a porpoise,
All join hands in a habeas corpus!!!!
[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 09-21-1999).]