How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #2 Archive
 ask your self....
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

ask your self....

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Jim Raynor
Member
since 09-19-99
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA


0 posted 09-19-99 07:31 PM       View Profile for Jim Raynor   Email Jim Raynor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jim Raynor's Home Page   View IP for Jim Raynor

ask your self one questions
and than tell your self
one thing that question and that thing is

"am i strong enough?
of course i am, no fear no hatred, no broken hearts, no tears,
could keep me away from the rest of my life"

my torn up heart flying through the sky
wont stop me

the only thing any one ever really
needs or wants is some one to love and

eventually you find some one
that you can love and that person can love you and

you never will have to shed a tear have hatred or fear in your heart again

and your heart is once again complete.

-Jim P.S.when ever your feeling broken hearted try doing this.
this one i just came up with.(thats funny you can still get a broken heart but
remember theres some one for every one.


------------------
$*%Jim Raynor%*$
© Copyright 1999 Jim Raynor - All Rights Reserved
CSwtThng
Member
since 07-28-99
Posts 125


1 posted 09-19-99 07:34 PM       View Profile for CSwtThng   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CSwtThng

Never give up and one day you will reach your goals. Good work Jim.
Jim Raynor
Member
since 09-19-99
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA


2 posted 09-20-1999 05:43 PM       View Profile for Jim Raynor   Email Jim Raynor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jim Raynor's Home Page   View IP for Jim Raynor

i seem to be getting better at this poet stuff eh owl

------------------
$*%Jim Raynor%*$
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 09-20-1999 05:46 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Starting to get the hang of it now Jim....want another sugestion on this one though?

------------------
"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus
Jim Raynor
Member
since 09-19-99
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA


4 posted 09-20-1999 05:54 PM       View Profile for Jim Raynor   Email Jim Raynor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jim Raynor's Home Page   View IP for Jim Raynor

any suggestion from you is fine with me remember im only 13 so im not to good at this stuff yet

------------------
$*%Jim Raynor%*$
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 09-20-1999 06:05 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Jim....I had no idea you were only 13, you have a long time to improve your skills and you are doing wonderful for your age. There are many people on this site that would be more than eadger to help a budding young poet.
This is what I might suggest for this one, again, I've deleted a few repetitive words and changed the format just a bit, but I have changed none of the poems meaning, only made it a bit more readable for the reader

ask your self one question
then tell your self one thing
the question,
"am i strong enough?"
the answer,
"of course i am,
no fear, no hatred,
no broken hearts, no tears,
could keep me away from the rest of my life"

my torn up heart
flying through the sky
won't stop me

the only thing any one ever really needs
or wants
is some one to love

eventually you find some one
that you can love
and that person can love you

you'll never have to shed a tear,
have hatred or fear
in your heart again

and your heart is once again
complete



------------------
"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus
beowulf_26
Member
since 06-29-99
Posts 183


6 posted 09-20-1999 09:46 PM       View Profile for beowulf_26   Email beowulf_26   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for beowulf_26

Heed wise owl's words. Kudos my friend. Being only 17 myself I can identify what it feels like to be a youngun in this board. I would suggest staying here for a while as you will grow much faster. Just my 2 cents.

------------------
Opinions are like bellybuttons: eveybody's got 'em and they're good for nothing.
Jim Raynor
Member
since 09-19-99
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA


7 posted 09-22-1999 05:40 PM       View Profile for Jim Raynor   Email Jim Raynor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jim Raynor's Home Page   View IP for Jim Raynor

thanks for the replys and owl thanks for the help

-Jim Raynor

------------------
$*%Jim Raynor%*$
Jim Raynor
Member
since 09-19-99
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA


8 posted 09-22-1999 08:44 PM       View Profile for Jim Raynor   Email Jim Raynor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jim Raynor's Home Page   View IP for Jim Raynor

Hey owl your right that looks like it would look a lot better

------------------
$*%Jim Raynor%*$
Jim Raynor will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #2 >> ask your self.... Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors