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Passions in Poetry

Some of my Haiku

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Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


0 posted 09-19-99 05:56 AM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Beki

Decided to show you what it is I REALLY do well...:-)

A PAIR OF RAIN HAIKU

Pushed by the storm
Into the sand's warm embrace,
Waves rush shoreward.

Rain falls on the roof
To the beat of your heart;
I snuggle closer.
7/99

A PAIR OF SPACE HAIKU

Falling weightless
kisses deep as outer space ---
be my sun and moon!

Let meteors rain ---
we'll slide in and out of stars,
passion's naked dance.

7/99

Haiku by Night

sweet scent of jasmine
floats on cool ocean breezes
moon watching tonight!


Stars shimmer inward
turning their faces away -
we make our own light.




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"We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.....the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"
--John Keating, Dead Poets Society
© Copyright 1999 Rebecca Reese - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 09-19-99 09:41 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Very beautiful Beki....well done, have you tried to publish any of this as I know there is a pretty good market for haiku

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"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
2 posted 09-19-99 09:45 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

yes Beki.....you REALLY do do this extremely well.....more...more....

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May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


3 posted 09-19-99 09:57 PM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

Thanks Hoot and Pepper..I have actually published over 4 dozen haiku in 7-8 different small press literary magazines...none for awhile though, been concentrating on net stuff. Glad you enjoyed it :-)

------------------
"We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.....the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"
--John Keating, Dead Poets Society
Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


4 posted 09-20-1999 11:04 PM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

Things get posted here so fast and in such quantity (nearly three pages today) that my little poems are lost in the shuffle...going to give them a boost....:-)
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


5 posted 09-20-1999 11:53 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Beki, so few words but beautifully done!
My brother in law is into Haiku too, after living in Japan for a while, he is in Stockholm now, perhaps you two should get together!!!

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Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.
~Isis~


Paul Allen Lupien
Member
since 09-09-99
Posts 116
Ferndale,Mi.USA


6 posted 09-21-1999 12:24 AM       View Profile for Paul Allen Lupien   Email Paul Allen Lupien   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paul Allen Lupien

My faves were one,two and five (but liked them all)No expert on Haiku so I'll ask you for your opinion on one of mine.Don't be afraid to be scathingly honest...

The old broken boat
buried in the seashore sand
is unsinkable

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Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


7 posted 09-21-1999 01:20 AM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

The image is definitely a haiku image but you waste a few syllables..economy of words is what the form is about, among other things..when I teah my classes one of the first things we work on is getting rid of unnecessary words, like the, a, an, is....and then get rid of redundant words (you don't need to say seashore sand...where else would sand be but by the sea? :-) see what I mean?) then recreate the image....something like this:

rusty old boat
half buried in drifting sand -
unsinkable now.

this is not great, it was quickly done off the top of my head but do you see what I mean about unnecessary words? End of lesson one {{smile}}
Paul Allen Lupien
Member
since 09-09-99
Posts 116
Ferndale,Mi.USA


8 posted 09-21-1999 02:11 AM       View Profile for Paul Allen Lupien   Email Paul Allen Lupien   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paul Allen Lupien

Yes,that helps.Thanks for the free lesson!
Does Haiku have to have the 5/7/5 syllable thing?
(Don't worry,I won't go on and on with the free lessons,just this last question)

Thanx


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Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


9 posted 09-21-1999 03:13 AM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

LOL I don't mind as many lessons as you like :-) Email me if you'd like to know more. As for this question, no, it does not., If you read mine (have you been to my website?) you will find with and some without. Here is the thing about that. Because of the differences in our languages (japanese and English) there are MANY who believe that an english haiku would be more properly written with 13-14 syllables. I was actually rejected from many prestigious haiku journals because my traditional 5-7-5 poems were TOO LONG!!!!! So I learned to write it both ways...now they are so natural to me they just happen, one way or the other :-)Here is one I published a few years ago that was shorter....

Yesterday's cut hair
gleams in the sparrow's nest
today.

another more recently published one, and one ofmy very favorites of my hundreds, is

Sudden silence
so deep even crickets
hesitate

in fact, that may be THE best one I ever wrote :-)

I appreciate your interest in this form that is so dear to me Paul...email me, I would be glad to share more about writing it with you.



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"We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.....the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"
--John Keating, Dead Poets Society
Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


10 posted 09-21-1999 03:17 AM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

Is your brother in law single? ;-) though stockholm is very far away.....is he on the net? and does he Wrtie haiku or just enjoy reading it? either way perhaps we should hook it up (as my children would say) Thanks for the comments, glad you liked my poems, will be posting more. :-)
 
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