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Open Poetry #2
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Some of my Haiku
| Open Poetry #2 |
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Some of my Haiku |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
Decided to show you what it is I REALLY do well...:-) A PAIR OF RAIN HAIKU Pushed by the storm Into the sand's warm embrace, Waves rush shoreward. Rain falls on the roof To the beat of your heart; I snuggle closer. 7/99 A PAIR OF SPACE HAIKU Falling weightless kisses deep as outer space --- be my sun and moon! Let meteors rain --- we'll slide in and out of stars, passion's naked dance. 7/99 Haiku by Night sweet scent of jasmine floats on cool ocean breezes moon watching tonight! Stars shimmer inward turning their faces away - we make our own light. ------------------ "We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.....the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?" --John Keating, Dead Poets Society |
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| © Copyright 1999 Rebecca Reese - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Very beautiful Beki....well done, have you tried to publish any of this as I know there is a pretty good market for haiku ------------------ "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
yes Beki.....you REALLY do do this extremely well.....more...more.... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
Thanks Hoot and Pepper..I have actually published over 4 dozen haiku in 7-8 different small press literary magazines...none for awhile though, been concentrating on net stuff. Glad you enjoyed it :-) ------------------ "We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.....the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?" --John Keating, Dead Poets Society |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
Things get posted here so fast and in such quantity (nearly three pages today) that my little poems are lost in the shuffle...going to give them a boost....:-) |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Beki, so few words but beautifully done! My brother in law is into Haiku too, after living in Japan for a while, he is in Stockholm now, perhaps you two should get together!!! ------------------ Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. ~Isis~ |
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Paul Allen Lupien Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 114Ferndale,Mi.USA |
My faves were one,two and five (but liked them all)No expert on Haiku so I'll ask you for your opinion on one of mine.Don't be afraid to be scathingly honest... The old broken boat buried in the seashore sand is unsinkable ------------------ |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
The image is definitely a haiku image but you waste a few syllables..economy of words is what the form is about, among other things..when I teah my classes one of the first things we work on is getting rid of unnecessary words, like the, a, an, is....and then get rid of redundant words (you don't need to say seashore sand...where else would sand be but by the sea? :-) see what I mean?) then recreate the image....something like this: rusty old boat half buried in drifting sand - unsinkable now. this is not great, it was quickly done off the top of my head but do you see what I mean about unnecessary words? End of lesson one {{smile}} |
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Paul Allen Lupien Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 114Ferndale,Mi.USA |
Yes,that helps.Thanks for the free lesson! Does Haiku have to have the 5/7/5 syllable thing? (Don't worry,I won't go on and on with the free lessons,just this last question) Thanx ------------------ |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
LOL I don't mind as many lessons as you like :-) Email me if you'd like to know more. As for this question, no, it does not., If you read mine (have you been to my website?) you will find with and some without. Here is the thing about that. Because of the differences in our languages (japanese and English) there are MANY who believe that an english haiku would be more properly written with 13-14 syllables. I was actually rejected from many prestigious haiku journals because my traditional 5-7-5 poems were TOO LONG!!!!! So I learned to write it both ways...now they are so natural to me they just happen, one way or the other :-)Here is one I published a few years ago that was shorter.... Yesterday's cut hair gleams in the sparrow's nest today. another more recently published one, and one ofmy very favorites of my hundreds, is Sudden silence so deep even crickets hesitate in fact, that may be THE best one I ever wrote :-) I appreciate your interest in this form that is so dear to me Paul...email me, I would be glad to share more about writing it with you. ------------------ "We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.....the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?" --John Keating, Dead Poets Society |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
Is your brother in law single? ;-) though stockholm is very far away.....is he on the net? and does he Wrtie haiku or just enjoy reading it? either way perhaps we should hook it up (as my children would say) Thanks for the comments, glad you liked my poems, will be posting more. :-) |
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