Member Rara Avis
As I write this response, it seems your cry for help was serious and you have actually attempted suicide and are now in the hospital (from Jay_Jay's post which followed this).
Although I don't know you personally, Echo, and have read only a couple of your poems, I can say that i have found kinship in your words.... they echo much of what I've felt in my life in the past. You have found friends in this forum who have something in common with you.... they use their written words, as you do, to communicate pain and feelings about life. Poets are very passionate people and the title of this forum suits us well. We are caring givers, who use words to relay our unique perspective on life.... a talent which you clearly share. Having said that, I will add that although I do not know you personally, i feel we are sisters.
I pray that this attempt you have made and the subsequent help you will hopefully receive will result in your reviewing your life with new eyes.... and looking forward to the future with new hope, awareness, and truth. The truth is this (well one of them): for everyone, life is not easy. It is a struggle and there are days which the pain can seem unbearable. To some, it is even harder.... those of us who suffer from depression are those whose struggles are the deepest. We all must deal with the dichotomy of the human condition.... love vs. pain.
The good news is, there is help. There are friends. There are medications to help balance your chemistry so that the days are brighter and the lows less low. Years ago, these medications did not exist. Today, we are privileged to have miracle drugs (yes MIRACLES) which can be used quite successfully. Also,the availability of therapy and counseling and the public honesty and awareness of depression is a wonderful asset to those of us who suffer with this disease.
I don't know if you believe in God or about your faith. I am not trying to persuade you to believe anything that you don't. I just want to say that trusting in the Lord and seeking out spiritual guidance have helped me immensely in my own struggles with depression.
I pray you are in good hands now and that the profesisonals who are helping you will give you the support you need. Rest assured that you have friends here. Your poem expresses the overwhelming fear and pain that, at the time, you thought could not be overcome. I will pray for you daily that you will be enlightened and realize that you don't *have* to live like this and that your pain and heartache can be managed. I will pray that you will find the strength you need in family, friends and God and that you will be spiritually filled with the peace you deserve.
God bless you, Echo. With this note, I echo your struggle and join with you to tackle it and overcome it. Tomorrow WILL be a brighter day. But it will take some work from you to deal with the sorrow and pain straight on and to find and use all the resources you have available to you.
If you ever need a friend, i would be pleased to call myself one of them. When you get home and have access to your computer again, please feel free to e-mail me.
Your God-given talent for writing verse can be used to help others and to share the wisdom you have earned from this with the world.
With hope for light, love, peace and a fulfilling future, my prayers are with you!