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Passions in Poetry

I'm drinking and yet not getting drunk

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Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


0 posted 09-16-99 04:30 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

I知 drinking and yet not getting drunk
I知 swimming where my ship has sunk
I知 walking where my footsteps are unheard
I知 seeing clear where the view is blurred
I知 laughing where every face is sad
I知 happy when everyone is mad
I知 planting seeds where trees are dying
I知 telling truth where saints are lying
I知 running fast where time stands still
I知 just a toy where all is real
I知 seeking answers in your eyes
Where even truth wears a disguise
I知 feeling strong when you are weak
When I知 small you池e feeling big
I知 screaming yet you hear no sound
Or maybe it痴 the other way around

I知 drunk and yet I wasn稚 drinking
My ship is floating yet I知 sinking
I hear my footsteps when I知 standing
I知 blind where the view is never ending
Where everything is good, I知 mad at nothing
I知 sad when everyone is laughing
Where nature痴 giving birth, I知 dying
Where devil痴 telling truth, I知 lying
I知 standing still where everyone痴 in motion
In the world of toys just I express emotion
I致e found an answer in disguise
I致e lost the truth in my own eyes
You池e feeling strong when I am weak
You池e laughing cause I cannot speak
And only when I知 silent do I hear
I guess this story was a little more sincere

The truth is that it was all this way
I drank and I was drunk that day
My ship and I were slowly sinking
While I was standing I was thinking
I saw the never-ending view ahead
I had no reason to be sad
I planted seeds where trees were growing
I told the truth where saints were glowing
And I was moving with the ground
I lived and saw the living all around
I found an answer clear and true
And all I had to do was look at you
When you were strong and I was weak
You were the one who helped me speak
I screamed for help, you heard my scream
You told me it was all a scary dream


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I fell in love and kept on falling
© Copyright 1999 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 09-16-99 04:32 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Very good!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 09-16-99 04:43 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

This took some work. Well done, Sir.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


3 posted 09-16-99 04:46 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

A very interesting set of steps. I liked the progression and the feelings behind it all. If you don't mind, might I suggest something. In the first part with the lines
"I知 feeling strong when you are weak
When I知 small you池e feeling big"
It seems to be the only one falling short on a rhyme. Perhaps the following might help:
"I知 feeling strong when you are weak
When I知 small you are never meek"
Just my thoughts... take it as you will for I am no great poet.
All in all, an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


4 posted 09-16-99 04:53 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Bravo!!!

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


5 posted 09-16-99 04:53 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Kudos!!!

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


6 posted 09-16-99 04:55 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

That's your fault there's two entries Master...you didn't move the strings quick enough...*g*

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


7 posted 09-16-99 06:17 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

An extremely well crafted piece, Master. Take a bow!

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The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


8 posted 09-16-99 06:21 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

..

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 09-16-99).]
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


9 posted 09-16-99 06:21 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks eveybody! I didn't expect so many replies so quick. This is a very old poem of mine, decided to post it and see what you think. Andrew, thanks for advice I'm going to use it. RainbowGirl, you're one cute puppet!

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I fell in love and kept on falling
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 09-16-99 08:32 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Wow.....this was just great, I love the way you carried each line into the floowing stanza...very masterfully done.

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"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus
Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


11 posted 09-16-99 08:36 PM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

This was an ambitious piece, my friend, you pulled it off well! :-)

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"We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.....the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"
--John Keating, Dead Poets Society
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


12 posted 09-16-99 08:38 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Wow! Great job!

------------------
Denise
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


13 posted 09-16-99 08:47 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks Hoot, Beki and Denise. I'm glad you all liked it.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


14 posted 09-16-99 10:53 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

You've outdone yourself! I really loved this. Very good work!
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


15 posted 09-16-99 11:08 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks White Dove! I'm glad you liked it.
S.Ford
New Member
since 09-16-99
Posts 4


16 posted 09-17-99 12:49 PM       View Profile for S.Ford   Email S.Ford   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for S.Ford

That was very beautiful... loved it
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


17 posted 09-17-99 12:56 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Nice job, Master. I liked the way you provided contrasting views, and then resolved the contrasts.
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


18 posted 09-17-99 01:14 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thank you both! It's good to know that people still enjoy your old poems!

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I fell in love and kept on falling
 
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