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Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


0 posted 09-16-99 02:50 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Exit Leaving

I am bound by your love,
I am bound by your gag.
Words I should speak
would show me a nag.

I am bound by your love.
the strings ever tight.
Emotions run rampant
deep in the night.

I am bound by your love,
I know of no other.
Dreams are just visions
underneath night’s cover.

I am bound by your love,
choking myself to death.
Memories of another life
are all I have left.

I am bound by your love,
walking out the door.
I finally understand
what the exit is for.

16 September, 1999
©KRJ



------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


© Copyright 1999 Karilea Rilling - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
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since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


1 posted 09-16-99 02:52 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Intense, Sunshine. This piece is so powerful-"bound by your love" has to be the most important phrase in it.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 09-16-99 02:56 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Thank you Elizabeth. Sometimes I wonder if the "repeating" of a phrase makes the poem stronger, or if it just seems redundant. I will take anyone's thoughts on that subject.
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
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Posts 7296
America the beautiful


3 posted 09-16-99 03:04 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I think repetition makes poetry more powerful. I try to use it in my poems. There is a lot of it in pantoums, which seems to be a very popular form...wll, now you have my opinion.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 09-16-99 03:33 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

You go girl...no more bounds for you!!

------------------
"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 09-17-99 08:38 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Thanks E'Beth for your comments, and Hoot, we "both go!", girl!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


6 posted 09-17-99 09:46 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

very insightful. Sometimes we don't see the exit, sometimes it's just hard to go there. good writing. Good for you!

[This message has been edited by passing shadows (edited 09-17-99).]
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


7 posted 09-18-99 08:44 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Shadows, there's always an exit. It just depends on whether or not the Emergency Bell needs to ring!
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
8 posted 09-18-99 09:26 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Hi Sunshine.....powerful is definetly the word to describe this piece and as you know, I am not a poet, but I think that the line "I am bound by your love"calls to be repeated.....I love this one....very well written....when you say "I finally understand what the exit is for", makes me feel like standing up and applauding.........

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
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