How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #2 Archive
 Shipwreck
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Shipwreck

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


0 posted 09-16-99 12:08 PM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

I am cold and wet, underneath this great tree
the ocean lies not far off, my pilgrimage,
of whence I came, of where I shall perish-
a tropics windstorm hovers above the water,
my eyes are of old, my tongue speaks unknown words
which were known on the other side of the world,
poisonous snakes and great mantra rays soar
in the deep, in the deepest blue where rain drowns;
a million grains of sand lie on the distant shore,
a wooden splinter towers above the sand,
a tale to be told by moon, to be seen by sun;
I throw a rock at the sea clinging to hope's foundations
and my hopes are drowned in the cold currents,
as the island under my foot knows none but I,
a long pilgrimage, a price paid with the crew gone,
perish'd long, long ago in the ocean of tears.
Woe! my sandals hath fell'd a thousand leagues
as did my hope, the hope of a hundred men.
© Copyright 1999 Artur Hawkwing - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


1 posted 09-16-99 03:39 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I have read many of your works, and I think I like this one the best. It's very descriptive. Wonderful job, Artur!

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


2 posted 09-17-99 05:56 PM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

Hi Elizabeth, since you like details so much, I have a couple more detailed poems.



I'm sorry to run off again but thank u for letting me know which one you like the best. I'll be returning the favor shortly.
Paul Allen Lupien
Member
since 09-09-99
Posts 116
Ferndale,Mi.USA


3 posted 09-18-99 06:48 PM       View Profile for Paul Allen Lupien   Email Paul Allen Lupien   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paul Allen Lupien

Artur,could this possibly be part of a longer work,a saga perhaps?Makes me want to know the story behind it.
..."dreams of a hundred men..."-intriguing-

curiously,

PAL

------------------
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


4 posted 09-18-99 06:51 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

I agree with Paul please turn it into a Saga, a small posting each day would be great.
Like I did with the Knight and His Maiden.
Think about it, but anyway, well done..

------------------
Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.
~Isis~


Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


5 posted 09-18-99 10:57 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Darn this thing!

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 09-18-99).]
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


6 posted 09-18-99 10:57 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I think it would be great to make this into a saga, if you like the idea as well, Artur!

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."


poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


7 posted 09-19-99 12:24 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Exquisite piece, as all of yours are....the title is so precise. Good work! I love how it makes me read into your thoughts....nice.

------------------
I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale


Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


8 posted 09-19-99 04:41 PM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

It interests me that you discovered this by merely thinking of it. Yes, this is part of a longer saga, not finished actually. While writing it, I was thinking about Odysseus, or Ulysses, and also Christopher Columbus. Then I tried to somehow to imitate the Odyssey & Iliad way of speaking.. making the dialect of shipwreck seem as obsessed in the time as his. On the other side of the world, when you discover a "new world", most likely nobody will understand the language you are speaking. You're right, PAL, it's part of a uncompleted saga. I'll think about posting the other parts.

Isis, I will think about it .... my schedule keeps me from posting everyday but I can try every other day! Thank you for believing this poem well done.

Elizabeth, the idea appeals. We'll see!

Fatale, I was thinking about the title and the poem, and there's only so few mentioning that there was a shipwreck. "my tongue speaks unknown words" pertaining to being a foreigner, "a wooden splinter towers above the sand" which is a faint image of the ship's remains which drifted to coast. More tha happy to share my thoughts with you. I feel rather blessed hearing that all my poems are exquisite. Thank you.
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


9 posted 09-19-99 08:16 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

I wouldn't say it if you weren't worthy !! Just as good the 2nd time around.....Thumbs Up !! I'll be checking in on you later....

------------------
I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


10 posted 04-23-2004 12:40 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

I liked this
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #2 >> Shipwreck Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors