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Passions in Poetry

Three Old Men ( one was Long John)

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WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


0 posted 09-15-99 08:22 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LongJohn and two buddies, drinking beer,
Were talking so loud I could easily hear
About all the fanciful stories they told
And how they complained about their getting old.

The first guy said, "Well, the best wish for me
Would be able to take a good, healthy pee.
But a small, little dribble is all I can get
Which leaves my pajamas completely wet!

Friend Joe said, "When I wake, I feel quite foul.
I can't get a movement out of my bowel!
I've tried laxatives and ointments...instead,
I just go on back, disappointed, to bed."

LongJohn said, "Poor fellas! I need no such tricks.
I can pee and my bowel moves each morning at six."
"So what would you wish for...," said Joe "with such heaven?"
"I wish," said LongJohn, "I could wake before seven!"
© Copyright 1999 WhtDove - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


1 posted 09-15-99 08:30 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Goodness me! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing!!!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 09-15-99 09:14 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Am sitting here laughing. I have heard this in a joke before, but in your poetry it is even funnier

------------------
"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
3 posted 09-15-99 09:42 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

what a visual!!.....you go girl....

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 09-15-99 09:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Ah, so we have discovered yet another master of wit! Excellent!

------------------
Denise
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


5 posted 09-16-99 02:33 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

LAUGHING OUT LOAD WhtDove, this is really good I love it

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


6 posted 09-16-99 03:34 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

WhtDove, I didn't realize you had such colorful wit!! I about split my sides with the visuals from this one!! Thanx for the laughter! Made my day

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Words lay dormant in the recesses of the mind til called forth to a labor of love. By WildChild

JTF
Member
since 08-09-99
Posts 325
France


7 posted 09-16-99 03:45 AM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

ROFLMAO !! ... Oh dear, I had never heard this one before ... my sides hurt !
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


8 posted 09-16-99 07:23 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Scoot over Toerag.....this is wonderful.....and honestly LongJohn, I didn't betray your confidence....really I didn't...ya think Lorelei told her about your problem?....
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


9 posted 09-16-99 07:52 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Don't let him fool ya LJ, he told me, really!
LOL

For now my war on words is done,
Thanks you guys I had some fun.
I'll leave the humor to the rest,
LJ, Balladeer,Toe their the best.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


10 posted 09-16-99 08:23 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

WhtDove, you LIED when you said you didn't have a funny bone!! And I think I just cracked mine ROFL!!!! Well done!!!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


11 posted 09-16-99 09:11 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Whtdove, I think you have TWO funnybones: one connected to each hand! Good job, Lady!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


12 posted 09-16-99 01:18 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Dear little White Dove, tsk tsk tsk... of course you know... [b] THIS MEANS WAR!!!!

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 09-16-99).]
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


13 posted 09-16-99 01:39 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Score One for the lady of peace. Quite funny... I've heard the joke before but you did great in the retelling. I've never known a dove to have talons.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


14 posted 09-16-99 03:14 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Long John, I think you should accept her dove of peace and move on. So you've been beaten up by a girl..so what? It happens to us men all the time. Come back to your buddies. Toe and I await with open arms (and little closed fisties at the ends).
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


15 posted 09-16-99 03:16 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

WhtDove...1

Everyone else...0

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


16 posted 09-16-99 03:40 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

LongJohn...listen to the wise one..Balladeer....ya remember when ya declared war on me?.....It was kinda like Iraq and Iran......Libya and the U.S.?.....Iraq and Nato?......Ali and Foreman......"Rope a Dope?"....save face man.....don't get sucked into this?......LOL
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


17 posted 09-16-99 05:38 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

You know Long John, Balladeer has a point there!

Thanks to all of you!
Balladeer, thanks for watching out for Little Dove!

[This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 09-21-1999).]
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


18 posted 02-20-2011 04:38 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

This just cracks me up because the poems that I have read of WhtDove's were so very different from this one.  She nailed Long John but good!

A
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