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Passions in Poetry

Goodbye

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Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


0 posted 09-15-99 04:47 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Christopher

Goodbye


Cast all your fickle doubts away,
-and tell me no more useless lies.
No patience now for what you say,
-I will no longer hear your cries.

Look deep inside your torpid soul,
-you find one single time I lied.
I never did, the truth's my goal,
-yet for you I've always cried.

Yes, I sense the betrayal's deep,
-but it's never been me lying.
Only you, with words that creep,
-that you cover with your crying.

A faithless heart, you push on me,
-you've no remorse for any lie.
So kiss me once, for now, you see,
-this is the last time that I'll cry.

[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 09-15-99).]
© Copyright 1999 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
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since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


1 posted 09-15-99 04:55 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Slam! There was a heart getting crushed by betrayal. I agree with your verse wholeheartedly. May Darkness shine through to illuminate your ruminations.

------------------
Pain is life, life is short, I will endure.
DreamEvilŠ




[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 09-15-99).]
~one voice~
Senior Member
since 07-08-99
Posts 668
Billings, MT USA


2 posted 09-15-99 04:59 AM       View Profile for ~one voice~   Email ~one voice~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~one voice~

You tell it like is, Christopher! I love it!

------------------
~onevoice~

"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."


Justbleu
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since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


3 posted 09-15-99 05:17 AM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

Well said!!!

Good poem!!

Justbleu

------------------
"Is she living in a dream, Is she playing make-believe???"
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


4 posted 09-15-99 06:48 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

(Last time you'll cry...?)
This is great, Chris - excellently structured and I love 'words that creep'. I also think that ending on a different version of cry in each stanza is very clever; yes, I can really feel the anger in this. But you're not allowed to tell me that I'm bad for writing without hope. So there

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 09-15-99).]
Elizabeth
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since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


5 posted 09-15-99 06:52 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Wow, Christopher...I can feel this. You're not the only one to have felt this way. Great job-you've described it well.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


6 posted 09-15-99 07:49 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Christopher, what a well written pice of poetry, so true in it's form

------------------
"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus
Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


7 posted 09-15-99 10:56 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

DE, I value your response, coming as I know it does, with sincerity!

Onevoice,justbleu- thank you, I am humbled

severn- K.... I never said anything about me writing this way, only that you can't!

elizabeth, hoot_owl- thank you, and hoot, tis rare someone praises me on my form!
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


8 posted 09-15-99 11:07 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Wow! Good one Christopher!

------------------
Denise
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


9 posted 02-20-2011 04:16 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

I like this.

A
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