I've just started to follow this feud,
truly it's quite amusing.
I want to be anything but rude,
but it's very confusing.
Revered Elder, Balladeer,
why have this fetish for sheep?
Old age is really nothing to fear,
doesn't it make you feel cheap?
Why must you seduce those virgin ewes,
first leading the poor things on?
Your preferences are your own to choose,
I hope you don't take me wrong.
Is Toerag slipping in the back door,
when you service your stable?
Does your wife ask for sex anymore,
or even if you're able?
Toerag at least gets variety,
loving all forms of produce.
I don't mean to cause anxiety,
but why don't you try a goose?
There's something of Toerag I must ask,
it's bugged me for quite awhile.
Toerag I'm not calling you to task,
but why is produce your style?
I hear you make love to your pumpkins,
outside in the pumpkins' patch.
Amongst all of the country bumpkins,
your prowess is hard to match.
I have an idea for the both of you,
something that works quite well.
You should form a partnership anew,
spellbound by what I will tell.
Toerag take your used and abused fruit,
then pile it into a heap.
Balladeer must settle the dispute,
by feeding it to his sheep.
Well that is all I wanted to say,
as I pour myself some scotch.
Now though that I have entered the fray,
my back I had better watch.
Pain is life, life is short, I will endure.