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Open Poetry #2
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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 1999-09-15 12:16 PM


So long have I walked these dusky shores
that Twilight has forgotten I am here
She breathes her chill night air
softly, exhaling the heat of day
and I catch a taste of it
I taste the sun, a flower, a lover's kiss,
the tang of light and airy places
sharp upon my lips
and I walk on, alone with only stars
to light my way, to call me home
yet Twilight holds me closely
nestling me by her side, unknowing,
hemming me in with threads
of dark oceanic despair:
the waves have lost their hope
white spray without a sunny touch
and Twilight only, with her distant closeness
spreads her shadows over us
the deep and I, united in our loneliness

10.9.99


------------------
'Only the shallow know themselves.' Oscar Wilde.

© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
johnt300
Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 214
san diego, ca.
1 posted 1999-09-15 12:21 PM


Oh, very nice. Sounds like a solitary night alone, good or bad. Sometimes they help. Thanks.
Tyson

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 1999-09-15 12:51 PM


Thanks! Solitary is the operative word, indeed!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
3 posted 1999-09-15 01:59 AM


And you tell me I'm the one who writes with no hope!
Bad girl!
Well written Severn, a pang of "loneliness," that meld with the solitude.

Ps, if you ever feel too alone, call me, and I'll lend you one or two of my "voices." They sure do help prevent the feeling of being alone!

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 1999-09-17 03:59 AM


Back to the top we go!

I was thinking about the feeling of desolation tonight, (sigh,) and it reminded me of this. So back we go, to commiserate with all the others who are feeling alone tonight.
(this is beginning to sound like a bad country song...)

juanita
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 68
Los Angeles, CA, USA
5 posted 1999-09-17 03:16 PM


You have great imagery in this poem, I
feel like going to the beach and just sitting
there contamplating the sea.
good work!

Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444
USA
6 posted 1999-09-17 05:47 PM


Perfection. I don't think Twilight could be described better than this.
Julie
Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739
Houston, TX
7 posted 1999-09-17 06:12 PM


Beautifully done. Makes one (almost) look
forward to nightfall.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
..."to thine own self be true."
>William Shakespeare




Paul Allen Lupien
Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 114
Ferndale,Mi.USA
8 posted 1999-09-18 12:12 PM


Very well worked analogy,between last and next.A suspension of action,a relection at a mid-point with effective imagery-both physical,mental and emotional.In my book that makes a poem.
Thanks for making it.

PAL

------------------

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2004-04-23 01:11 PM


I can relate, even now
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