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Promise not to drop it (please tell me what you think)
| Open Poetry #2 |
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Promise not to drop it (please tell me what you think) |
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corda serrata pando New Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 4 |
To me life isn't worth living until you've found something worth dying for. Right now you should be on your knees begging, crying, but I don't want to make you cry. You should be restless, your nights sleepless, but i'm watching you now and you don't even move. If you knew how I feel it minght tear you appart. Still no words can surfice to thank you for what you've done. To thank you for the changes that you have made and the differense it will make on the rest of my life. So here I am once again. I pour out my heart, just to fix things, and you bring a freedom to all that's withen. Your worth dying for. I am alive. I told you I was afraid of love and you said you'd never hurt me, but, you have, too many times to count. We're still together though, and your heart is still intact. I can still see the seams from the last time I sewed it back together. If you help me pick up the pieces of mine I just minght trust you enough to let you hold it again. If you promise not to drop it, again. |
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| © Copyright 1999 corda serrata pando - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I like the lines 'to me life isn't worth living until you've found something worth dying for'. I agree. I'm no expert on writing (prose or poetry) but I think this has great potential. Perhaps if you tightened it up a little, remove some unnecessary words, it would have a better flow. Again, I'm no expert. I'm only making a suggestion since you asked!  And welcome to PIP! I'm sure you'll like it here! Oh, and great title! I like that!------------------ Denise |
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