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Passions in Poetry

Untitled

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Tammy
Member
since 09-09-99
Posts 90


0 posted 09-10-99 09:36 PM       View Profile for Tammy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tammy

This poem was born yesterday while I was watching my fiancee watch T.V......


As I sit here watching you lie
on the couch
My heart does that pitter-pat
and simply melts

There are times like these that I feel
I might just burst
With wanting for you, that it
actually hurts

You have no clue what
you mean to me
I'd give my life for
yours happily
© Copyright 1999 Tammy - All Rights Reserved
Sundance
Member
since 07-11-99
Posts 124


1 posted 09-10-99 09:43 PM       View Profile for Sundance   Email Sundance   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sundance

Nice! Maybe some more words on the 1st stanza. They seem not to rythm like the others. just suggestions

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 09-11-99 06:26 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Now that's true love!!

------------------
"The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anais Nin
 
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