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Passions in Poetry

Deceptive love

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Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


0 posted 09-09-99 09:42 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Deceptive love dissolves and dies
Disheartened heart demands loveís proof
In deep despair I seek advice
Determined on detecting truth

My pride deprives me from the doubts
And dares me to defend my dreams
The night denies its role and flouts
As dreary star deforms and dims

My soul decays, drunk with depression
Iím driven downward where I sink
I dread the drama of obsession
Which only dreams and love could bring

------------------
I fell in love and kept on falling

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 09-09-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 09-09-99 09:50 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Nicely written....very smooth, it almost sings in it's rhythym, I like that.

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"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


2 posted 09-09-99 10:44 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks hoot! How do you like the third stanza I've just added?
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


3 posted 09-09-99 10:49 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

This flowed! And I did like your 3rd stanza. drunk with depression, that sums it up well.
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


4 posted 09-09-99 11:28 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks White Dove! I'm glad you liked it.

------------------
I fell in love and kept on falling
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


5 posted 09-10-99 12:38 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

any more comments?
DBeth
Member
since 09-09-99
Posts 110
providence,ky.42450


6 posted 09-10-99 12:49 PM       View Profile for DBeth   Email DBeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DBeth

It comes from the heart and whispers to the soul.Good job!!

------------------

Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
7 posted 09-10-99 12:59 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

moving...very well written,Master

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


8 posted 09-10-99 02:34 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Master...again it sings in it's rhythm. The flow so utterly smooth, like glass. I can relate to what you say about depression coming from love and dreams. We hold such high expectations of both and should they fail to meet what we expect of them...ah yes, very wise words there.
"My soul decays, drunk with depression
Iím driven downward where I sink
I dread the drama of obsession
Which only dreams and love could bring"

Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


9 posted 09-10-99 05:36 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

THanks everybody. Hoot, that's also my favorite stanza, brings more reality to the poem in a way. I'm glad you liked it.

------------------
I fell in love and kept on falling
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


10 posted 09-10-99 09:42 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

I like it too The line "I dread the drama of obsession" is particulary good.

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The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


11 posted 09-10-99 10:51 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks! Did I ever tell you before that I like your signature?
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


12 posted 09-10-99 11:01 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Another masterpiece,Master!

------------------
Denise
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


13 posted 09-10-99 11:45 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks Denise!
 
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