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Passions in Poetry

Weight Charts, Bah!

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Dom Mart
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 173
Florida


0 posted 09-08-99 07:47 PM       View Profile for Dom Mart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Dom Mart's Home Page   View IP for Dom Mart


Nutritionists and physicians,
Don't be offended please--
Who am I, a lowly layman
To contradict your expertise?

But you determine ideal weight
By consulting a standard chart,
Which, in my humble opinion,
Is the opposite of smart.

I've studied the chart for males
Of my age and of my height,
And I can only make the weight,
If I never eat another bite.

To starve myself down to the weight
Your chart says is right for me
Means no more Sundays on the beach
For fear I'd be blown out to sea.

Would I become so thin and light
I'd be sucked into an exhaust vent?
Don't you think that if that happens
Someone might wonder where I went?

But keep your chart and use it.
Just label it "Ideal Weights
For ascetics, fashion models
And concentration camp inmates."
© Copyright 1999 Dom Mart - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


1 posted 09-08-99 07:52 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LOL...you tell em'! I never liked what they said anyway! Loved it!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 09-08-99 07:58 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

What's 'ideal' anyway? I don't know anyone like that! Very Funny!

------------------
Denise
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


3 posted 09-08-99 10:44 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Weight a minute, the doc said, Please!
When weighing in, get off your knees.
You're much too short for what you weigh!
Just read the chart published today!

But doc, that chart says I am lard!
And I am not! I work too hard!
I'm muscle mass, not flabby fat.
Your chart just makes me look like that!

(Funny poem... gave me a good laugh and inspired me to write a couple verses of my own.... thanks for the inspiration! LOL)

-dp
 
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