When you sit down and think about things
the things you've done in your life, the choices you've made, good and bad you try to let them all go.
You try to say that was the past and this is now you can't change what you've done.
You make deals with yourself you say next time I won't do that even though you know you will.
You bargin a mistake down to make it less than it really was.
But really it was big.
You try to tell yourself the things I did yesterday will not really affect me tommorow.
You put them in the back of your mind and fool yourself into thinking you've forgotten those dirty things.
But they are all there hidden in your subconscious and they affect you.
Your choices, your actions, your self-esteem.
Then late at night driving home those things locked away come out and you bargin and try to ponder them away but the are still there.
So what do you do?
Ask for god for forgiveness but then you wonder even though I believe and always will have I been chosen because most of the time I shut him out just like I do those things......
But late at night on that drive home with the music blairing God comes to play too.
Will I bargin with him and will I win or loose?