I don't have a title for this one....help?

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Starith
Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 176
Leesburg, FL USA

0 posted 1999-09-08 11:31 AM

I stand here at the top of a tree,
Looking out over a vast sea.

As I watch a bird takes flight, a dove.
The body of water, an ocean of love.

I have two choices I can make,
Stand here watching, or a chance I can take.

Leave my perch,
And go in search,

Of the love
Waiting for "this" dove.

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We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

[This message has been edited by Starith (edited 09-08-99).]

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

1 posted 1999-09-08 11:41 AM

Well there I don't know if I can help here. So many things going through my head. "Do I search?" "The way I see it?" I dunno! Sorry a thousand through my mind, don't quite seem to fit....
A small critique here if you don't mind, check your spelling..

traveler
Member

since 1999-08-17

Posts 119

2 posted 1999-09-08 02:16 PM

I liked it! ...I don't have the expertise to offer any suggestions on a title ...not very handy at poetry or love ...

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-08-99).]

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

3 posted 1999-09-08 02:17 PM

Peace...that's what I see..:-)

HuGS

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You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Starith
Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 176
Leesburg, FL USA

4 posted 1999-09-08 02:36 PM

Thank you so much for your kind comments...and spelling corrections...one thing I'm not so good at when it comes to writing it seems...LOL. But I think I have fixed the problems now.

Star

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We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

Sue
Member

since 1999-08-04

Posts 383
France

5 posted 1999-09-08 03:17 PM

"Distance" falls into my mind when I read this poem. It all seems so far away, but if you go out and do something about it you can bridge that distance.
Do it.

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

6 posted 1999-09-08 08:36 PM

How about "Turning Point"? It seems to me that you are at the brink of a possible one in your life, if this is what the poem reflects ...

Well done ... a pleasant read.

Nocht

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"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

Starith
Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 176
Leesburg, FL USA

7 posted 1999-09-09 05:34 PM

Sue: Funny that you would say that...I feel as though I'm a million miles away from someplace, and yet that's the place I'm supposed to be. Thanks for the advice.

Nocht: Thank you for your suggestion.

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We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

8 posted 1999-09-09 09:13 PM

Very nice and I think I have a perfect suggestion for the title..."Taking Flight"

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"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

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