good question and sorry for the delay in replying, case of pc down but now up...much like me..:-))
I guess there are several different types of abusers...but to help explain, I'll try to give an answer to the poem..firstly, much of the poem describes the actions or events that took place between my first husband and myself..never having been in that situation before, it was tough...but it started with the silliest of things...a cup of tea that was too hot...but on reflection, it wouldn't really have made any difference if it was cold...he wanted to release his anger and that was enough...for 7 years this went on and finally, the events in the poem, made me realise...other things as well, like telling me the child I thought I was carrying had to be aborted and I love children to bits, so that finalised things too...as it happens I wasn't pregnant and I've simplied things here as well...at the end of the day, the man I married was wasn't the man I thought I was marrying...too many culture differences...one of the things he delighted in was stopping me from voicing an opinion, literally...but...one day you wake up and stop blaming yorself for giving someone a cup of tea that's either too hot or too cold or not hot enough..
The other type of abuser is the mental or emotional one...and that's my current husband...the events of the other night are a one off...caused becaused he's finally realised that he has no hold over me anymore...he won't try it again because that was his last attempt at fighing for me but it's a lost cause...the love died a long time ago as did the respect and ...love dies through neglect...
Hope that explains a bit for you or anyone else reading, there's a lot I could say but would be boring for most..*g* and hey, what the heck, I've grown and become stronger but should someone in that position be reading...I have only one thing to say!
You're special, find a man or woman who will treat you as such!
You know life is strange...sometimes people go through life with no problems, other times people face the hardest of decisions..but these people that have tough choices to make, know what life is, and how hard it is and they love even more! Just like you!
One last comment: I'm glad I'm the person I am but I doubt I would be if it wasn't for the life I have so far lived...so there's a rainbow in that too..:-))
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 09-09-99).]