How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #2 Archive
 The Grand Scheme of Things
 1 2 3 4 5
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

The Grand Scheme of Things

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Former Football
New Member
since 09-05-99
Posts 8
Wyoming, MN, USA


0 posted 09-05-99 02:28 AM       View Profile for Former Football   Email Former Football   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Former Football

In the grand scheme of things
we may not really matter
In the grand scheme of things
we are but ants moving sand
In the grand scheme of things
we probably don't matter at all
In the grand scheme of things
it doesn't matter how insignificant we are
For in the smaller circles,
we are everything....
You are my world
I am yours
and even in the grand scheme of things, that is all that matters

------------------
the true sign of a
thinker is not the sound,
but the silence.
© Copyright 1999 Former Football - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 09-05-99 08:19 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

In the grand scheme of things...this was a pretty good piece of work
One suggestion though....to improve the flow of it, I myself would break the final line
"and even in the grand scheme of things, that is all that matters"
to
and even in the grand scheme of things,
that is all that matters

Not only would this improve the flow, but it would also accentuate the all important last line of this poem and really bring the message through


------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


2 posted 09-05-99 11:06 AM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Nice work indeed. I do agree with hoot...the last line deserves the added emphasis.

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 09-05-99 01:13 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This was excellent, FF. I enjoyed this one very much!

------------------
Denise
Wesley the Blue
Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 430
Forest Lake, MN, USA


4 posted 09-05-99 01:32 PM       View Profile for Wesley the Blue   Email Wesley the Blue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wesley the Blue

Good work, Foot. I agree with the need for a break in the last line, but those kinds of things take time to develop as a writer.
Shimmer
New Member
since 09-07-99
Posts 5


5 posted 09-07-99 10:36 PM       View Profile for Shimmer   Email Shimmer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shimmer

Excellent poem. I was only curious as to the nature of the inspiration of the poem. It appeared either to be from love of another human or from love of God.
Insightful.
Former Football will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #2 >> The Grand Scheme of Things Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors