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 i remember daddy, and your unforgiven
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Passions in Poetry

i remember daddy, and your unforgiven

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amber
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 246
los banos, ca,


0 posted 09-04-99 07:36 PM       View Profile for amber   Email amber   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for amber

i remember your hands daddy,
they stole away my innocence,
without so much, as a second glance,
as the tears rolled down my face.

i remember your smile daddy,
it still haunts me in the night,
tearing apart the woman,
ive had to struggle to become.

i remember your criticism daddy,
every time i fell in love,
they were never good enough,
for "your" little girl.

i remember your eyes daddy,
the way they burned through my soul,
as you looked down upon me sleeping,
and i was dying inside, but to affriad to move.

i remember your lies daddy,
"you never ment to hurt me,"
"your sorry you made me cry,"
"you loved me more than life itself."

i remember my hands daddy,
they folded sweaty in my lap,
and i silently prayed to god,
not to let me hurt anymore.

i remember my smile daddy,
it faded away the first time,
you tore my world apart,
and i havent seen it since.

i remember my criticism daddy,
it was never ending upon myself,
for being the child i was,
for still loving you,
and convincing myself you didnt mean it.

i remember my eyes daddy,
they closed tightly,
and accompanied my wishes to dissapear,
to a place that wouldnt hurt me.

i remember my lies daddy,
"nothing happened mommy,"
"daddy loves us to much to hurt us,"
"im sorry mommy its my fault."

i remember her words daddy,
" this man is nice enough to love you, and accept you as his own,"
"the least you can do is be a good little girl,"
"mommy loves you, and ill never let him hurt you."

i remember it all daddy,
everytime i see you,
everytime you tell me that you love me,
you just choose to overlook my eyes,
that tell you,
your unforgiven.
© Copyright 1999 amber jean white - All Rights Reserved
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


1 posted 09-04-99 07:38 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

Wow. This is very powerful. A wonderful yet disturbing piece to read.

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


amber
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 246
los banos, ca,


2 posted 09-04-99 07:42 PM       View Profile for amber   Email amber   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for amber

thank you for your comment, and your time. ive realized the most powerful poems are written when your forced to confront things that youve spent an eternity trying to hide from yourself.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 09-04-99 07:44 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Yes, very powerful and very sad. Very masterfully written. The hurt is very palpable.

------------------
Denise
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


4 posted 09-04-99 09:55 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Such a sad sad reality. You captured the words to tell of your pain. I felt your hurt. I hope the healing has begun.

[This message has been edited by Lucie (edited 09-04-99).]
Tyke
Junior Member
since 08-22-99
Posts 27
Calgary, Alberta, Canada


5 posted 09-04-99 10:26 PM       View Profile for Tyke   Email Tyke   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tyke's Home Page   View IP for Tyke

Amber

The pain must be unreal. As a father of THREE girls, it scares me that such people exist. I know I can never feel the pain nor understand the situation, still it scares the hell out of me to think that this could possibly happen to my children, not by my hand, but by the hand of someone who is close to them and that they as children love. Your words are very strong and powerful. I can't tell you exactly how your words have made me fell because I'm not sure. I hope life gives you back a little of what has been stolen from you.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


6 posted 09-04-99 11:01 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Oh God, what do I say here! I am sorry for your pain! This was well written, and a tough thing to write I'm sure! I hope you come to some sort of peace in life, you are a survivor! God bless you!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


7 posted 09-04-99 11:11 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Few things can stir the anger in me the way a poem like this does. Child abuse as seen through the eyes of the child makes me want to kill the bastard with my own two hands. There are those who say we should forgive....I prefer your philosophy better.
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


8 posted 09-04-99 11:31 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Amber I don't know what to say other than I remember too and after more than 3 decades it's still there but please know that pain does subside and you will go on. Forgiveness for something like this is not even an option in my book, but please know that you are not accountable for his actions and that you are worth more than rubies and gold as the good book says. I hope that the pain subsides and you find an inner peace soon. Very well written piece and I would like your permission to send it to some friends who are also survivors.

------------------
Words lay dormant in the recesses of the mind til called forth to a labor of love. By WildChild

amber
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 246
los banos, ca,


9 posted 09-05-99 03:02 AM       View Profile for amber   Email amber   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for amber

thank you all for your concern, and understanding. this poem was extremely hard for me to come to terms with, even after id written it, because that was a part of me, that i was so ashamed of, and in a way scared to know. ive hidden these emotions from myself for so long, and now im pregnant with a child of my own. i realized its time to try and let that go, so that i can be a mother to my child. it kept me in a little girl frame of mind for a very long time, and i know i have no choice but to get over this now. once agian i thank you all for your time, and your responses. they will be kept forever in my heart, thanks agian!
Former Football
New Member
since 09-05-99
Posts 8
Wyoming, MN, USA


10 posted 09-05-99 03:25 AM       View Profile for Former Football   Email Former Football   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Former Football

There is no reason to be ashamed of it--it is not your fault. Thank you for sharing this, and the best of luck with your new child. I know quite a few people through school who have problems at home, and this brings me a step closer to understanding how they feel. Thank you for sharing this, and I hope it lends courage to any survivors out there.

------------------
the true sign of a
thinker is not the sound,
but the silence.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


11 posted 09-05-99 08:26 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I cried like a baby while reading this poem. My heart cries out for your pain. You did a remarkable job of expressing it in this piece. May God grant you the peace you deserve.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


12 posted 09-05-99 10:54 AM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Amber, you and your child are held in my heart. This "father" does not deserve your forgiveness. You are precious and valuable. Peace be yours, my friend, and let me know when the baby comes

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


13 posted 09-05-99 01:47 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

This is a scream that should be heard by the whole world. I hope that writing it has helped you to come to terms with the past, so you can at least really be you in the future.
This poem is immensely powerful, and cannot fail to touch everyone who reads it.
amber
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 246
los banos, ca,


14 posted 09-05-99 03:38 PM       View Profile for amber   Email amber   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for amber

thank you once agian to all of you. it brings great joy that people can start to understand what somehting like htis does to a child, forever. it is a never ending pain, but i am coming to peace, as much for my child, as i am for myself. caroline ill be sure to let you know when the baby comes, and im sure there will be many poems about her or him. thank you all for your best wishes, i appreciate tehm deeply.
Billy
Junior Member
since 09-05-99
Posts 26


15 posted 09-05-99 04:02 PM       View Profile for Billy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Billy

I was horrified and angered by your words. It forced me to think about the unthinkable. I'd like to think these things don't really happen. I pray that people would actively try to recognize the signs of abuse and put a stop to it. You did a great job expressing your feeling.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


16 posted 09-05-99 04:54 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Amber, I love this poem, wonderfully written,It brought tears to my eyes and anger within. I feel your pain
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


17 posted 09-05-99 05:38 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

In all the discussions about what poetry should and shouldn't be, about rhymed versus free verse, about meter, about spelling, about format - this poem should be held up as an example. Pure emotion..pure feeling... a soul laid bare shared with the world.

Amber, your poem of pain and suffering is one of the most touching pieces I've ever read. "Unforgiven" is such a powerful way to end it!

That you have been able to write this is a testament to your creative being and your strength. Your child is lucky to be born with you as his/her mother!

Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


18 posted 09-05-99 05:49 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

I echo all the above, and applaud you for your strength in facing this terrible issue in your life. Bravo for having the courage to address it, rather than bury it beneath your subconciousness (though I could certainly understand if you did.) Well written, and I repeat what ms D said again. This is what poetry is about!
Chin up!
amber
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 246
los banos, ca,


19 posted 09-06-99 02:49 AM       View Profile for amber   Email amber   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for amber

i want to thank you all agian, for all the encouragement you have shown to my writing and for helping me to understand that it is better to open up, instead of locking things inside. i want ot tell you my heart has grown weary after so long and i am grateful that no one here has looked down upon me. thank you all with m deepest gratitude!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


20 posted 04-16-2004 11:50 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

 
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