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Passions in Poetry

When you are old....

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Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


0 posted 09-04-99 03:58 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Sue

The last drop of juice
Has been wrung by cruel time
From the fruit of youth

© Copyright 1999 Sue - All Rights Reserved
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 08-26-99
Posts 1064
northern mountains, Idaho


1 posted 09-04-99 04:08 PM       View Profile for Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Email Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rosemary J. Gwaltney's Home Page   View IP for Rosemary J. Gwaltney

I like this very much. Beautifully worded slice of life. I wish more people would write of aging. It's a natural part of life, happens very slowly, and is generally ignored by our society. I think I'll put one of my little poems in here on it.

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...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 09-04-99 04:14 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Sue...I really enjoyed this. One suggestion though. If you are going for true Haiku, you need to add an additional syllable to the second line...5/7/5. Maybe this...

The last drop of juice
Has been wrung out by cruel time
From the fruit of youth

You have said a great deal with very few words here



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"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


3 posted 09-04-99 04:17 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

Thanks, Rosemary. If you are interested in the subject, have a look at 'Soul' which I posted this afternoon, that's about old age, too.
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


4 posted 09-04-99 04:20 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

Hoot, I'm afraid we've hit a culture thing. I pronounce cruel as cru-el, two syllables. For America you are absolutely right.
 
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