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Passions in Poetry

Edge of nowhere

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Tyke
Junior Member
since 08-22-99
Posts 27
Calgary, Alberta, Canada


0 posted 09-04-99 01:51 AM       View Profile for Tyke   Email Tyke   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tyke's Home Page   View IP for Tyke

EDGE OF NOWHERE

Standing on the edge of nowhere,
Lord, I'm on the edge of nowhere
hoping to belong to somewhere
tired of hiding amongst the shadows
of the memories of my yesterdays
watching rainbows through the rain
as the nights push out the days
leaving me lonely with my misery
waiting on a second chance
to try and start over again
I need to break through to her
Let her know what she is to me
just can't stand this pain
of being alone every day
without her here beside me.
I'm back to drinking whiskey
Lord I'm back to drinking whiskey
can't face what stands in my way
now that she's gone from here
I can still smell her beauty
as it tears the fabric of my soul
leaving me lost in a different time and place
from a long long time ago
Been so lonely I've cried at night
Lord I've cried at night
now that she's not around
I've wandered through the streets at night
trying hard not to be alone
and in the arms of a stranger
I have found some comfort there
but the emptiness that's left behind
just keeps working on my mind
and I'm hurting deep inside
now there's nowhere left to hide
these feelings I have for her
praying she'll come back to me.
I just can't stop missing her
Lord, I can't stop missing her
I see her everywhere I go
down by the water fall
I hear her voice so sweet and low
up on the mountain top
I see her hair flowing in the wind
down in the valley low
I feel her touch so soft and gentle
I'm so cold and lonely now
Lord, I'm so lonely now
standing on the edge of nowhere
wanting to belong to her
now that she's gone from here.

tych
9/2/99
© Copyright 1999 Tyke - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 09-04-99 08:41 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Absolutely beautiful and sad at the same time. Wonderful use of imagery. I can't help but to wonder if this was written as a song though. Nice job and welcome to the group!!

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
Angel Rand
Member
since 09-04-99
Posts 140
London UK, and Zurich Switzerl


2 posted 09-04-99 09:13 AM       View Profile for Angel Rand   Email Angel Rand   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel Rand


Made me want to cry! It was soo beautiful and soo sad! I liked the way it flowed. Hoot is right, it is almost like a song.
Angel
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


3 posted 09-04-99 09:39 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Tyke,
More like an epic
in fabric.
But I enjoyed the read
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


4 posted 09-04-99 09:43 AM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

I really enjoyed this one, and my first thought, too, was that it reads like a song. It is well written. Welcome Tyke. I'll look forward to more of your work.

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


5 posted 09-04-99 11:06 AM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Hello Tyke. Oh, the heartache of love gone cold... you have clearly expressed it here! You have employed some excellent lines such as "wathing rainbows through the rain/as the nights push out the days" and "I'm back to drinking whiskey" (twice, though?) and "standing on the edge of nowhere" (which echoes your title). I think this is longer than necessary to get across the message, though, IMHO. Even one edit by removing repeated thoughts and phrases could do it.

Oh, btw, I liked the line "I've found some comfort there" but I think you may have inadvertantly picked that out of a Paul Simon song.... maybe?? Sometimes I use a line from a song, too, by accident because I have so many of them floating around in my head.

All in all, a very nice effort here and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!

dp
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


6 posted 09-04-99 01:29 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

Actually, I liked the repeats - it's the way the mind works when something really bad happens.
Tyke
Junior Member
since 08-22-99
Posts 27
Calgary, Alberta, Canada


7 posted 09-04-99 11:22 PM       View Profile for Tyke   Email Tyke   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tyke's Home Page   View IP for Tyke

Hoot - A song!! what a wonderful thought
Thank you

Angle - I'd love to to come over and wipe away the tears, as I'm sure the rest of the guys would like to do to.

Seymore - An epic! a very interesting thought, but it could only be the first stanza. what do you think?

Caroline - Your words are to kind. If a man never brought tears to the eyes of the women he loved he could never have told the truth.

Doreen - Your thoughts are appreciated, but when you go back to whiskey after many years of absence I seem to repeat alot more things than just my thoughts and phrases, but I think I'll follow Hoot's advise and turn it into a song. As far as stealing a line from Paul Simon I think you are right. if memory serves me right (whiskey seems to cloud it a lot) I believe it was 'the boxer' or something like that. I wonder if Paul will forgive me? Again thank you for your thoughts.

Sue - You are just to kind and beautiful - thank you

Thank you all.
Tyke will be notified of replies
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