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Open Poetry #2
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Trying this again: didn't work so well the first time
| Open Poetry #2 |
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Trying this again: didn't work so well the first time |
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Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
You said you never hurt me, and still I feel the pain. Sometimes I feel as though my love for you is in vain. And yet still I try again and again. You say you do not trust me, well what can I do or say? I cannot look into your eyes, you're so very far away. And yet still I try again and again. Please give me your opions on this piece. Thank you all. ------------------ We are only truly apperciated after we are no more! |
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| © Copyright 1999 Starith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Star Fairy Junior Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 39cerritos, ca, usa |
I like it... and I also feel that I may have put someone in this situation which I am very sorry for BUT I have already told him that. ------------------ 823 |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
losing someones trust is the worst. it's losing something that although you try to gain it back, you can't get it all. i like your poetry. |
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Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
Thank you for your replies...they are much apperciated. Miriam I did not lose his trust though...he never fully gave it to me...he was hurt very badly by someone else and refuses to let anyone too close now...though he wants me to be with him and him alone...doesn't make much sense to me...but I am just a woman...and I know not all... ------------------ We are only truly apperciated after we are no more! |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I liked this very muchly ..  Losing someone's trust, especially someone far away, is a very difficult thing to deal with ... I hope you win it back. Nocht ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It's easy to explain, Starith. I know him. Hell, I WAS him! It's called having your cake and eating it, too. If he doesn't want to commit, that's one thing. But if he doesn't want to commit but wants you to...lose him. You have better people to meet. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Starith: If you haven't figured it out yet, Sir Balladeer is the wise man within these poetic hall. Do not discard his words without carful consideration. It does sound like you're in a one sided relationship and that's never good. If this person cannot accept you for you alone and dump the history of someone elses misdeeds, than now is not the time to be involved. He's got to work it out and be comfortable with himself before anyone else can be comfortable with him in turn. I know its easy to say when your not the one who is in the middle of it all, but it just doesn't sound healthy. Peace to you. I'm off the soapbox. P.S. You're never "just" a woman. Sorry, one of my pet-peeves. |
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Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
Balladeer: I am flattered, you have responded to one of my poems. And yes I realize that I should lose him...but love is a funny thing, my mind says that I should tell him where to stick it but my heart says that I should give him just one more chance. They say third times the charm, well this is it. and yes I may be crazy, but only crazy in love, which might I remind you is very blind indeed! Andrew: Yes I have realized that Balladeer is a respected elder. And I do respect what you have both said, and your advice has not fallen on deaf ears. Actually I am to the point that I am about ready to just say to hell with it. If you, any of you, read my other poem it is about the same person. It was written before this one was, but the relationship was not too good then either. ------------------ We are only truly apperciated after we are no more! |
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traveler Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119 |
Starith ... yes, we can see you write from the heart. I do hope you get what you want, and it was what you wanted after you get it. A very simple thing in life and love, "treat people as you want to be treated and don't take what you cannot give". I enjoyed your poem. A new poet myself, it is still hard to lay my emotions out here for all to see.I'm looking forward to your next post. |
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Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
Travler: Thank you for your advice and kind words...and don't worry...being able to write from the heart will come in time...you have the ability now you just don't realize it...all you have to do is listen to your heart, it will tell you what to write...never let your head interfer with what your heart is telling you to write and you'll do just fine. Not that I'm an expert or anything, but experience does make you rich in it's own way. Starith ------------------ We are only truly apperciated after we are no more! |
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Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
Well I might be slightly pratial to this....but I think it deserves another look all the same. ------------------ We are only truly apperciated after we are no more! |
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