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Passions in Poetry

A Poem For Critic :::: take this with a grain of salt::: : )

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Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


0 posted 09-03-99 12:26 AM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Lucie

You say that I am forcing rhyme
but I think you are wrong this time.
Its just the way my verse comes out
don't mean to b*tch, don't mean to shout.

But if you would say.. use a real name
and not play with us this hiding game.
Then I might take your advise to heart,
but until then get off my poetry cause your gettin on my nerves and I don't like it.
© Copyright 1999 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


1 posted 09-03-99 12:41 AM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

You go, Lucie!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


2 posted 09-03-99 01:25 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Love that last line! It rhymes soooo perfectly!!! J/k. Way to give 'em a piece o' your mind!
Critic
New Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 9


3 posted 09-03-99 07:22 AM       View Profile for Critic   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Critic

My post to your work was one of several to this site, all my honest opinions, to see if this was a site based upon mutual self-appreciation of 2X4 poetry or, instead, progressive poetry critique. It is sadly the former.

You can now return, unscathed, to your former existance, without worry!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


4 posted 09-03-99 09:30 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

ROFLMAO!! Great job, Lucie!
Deb Lynne
Member
since 08-19-99
Posts 181
Where blue skies meet blue oce


5 posted 09-03-99 09:37 AM       View Profile for Deb Lynne   Email Deb Lynne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deb Lynne

Well said Lucie! There's always one bad apple in the barrel, one smelly one in the bunch! Keep writing! The rest of us enjoy every word!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


6 posted 09-03-99 10:01 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Lucie,
I just want to be everbodies friend.
Enjoyed the poem.
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


7 posted 09-03-99 12:58 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Look, I can take critisism with the best of them, and sometimes my poems do come out like a second grade jumprope song. But when you hide behind a name like critic, what response do you expect? I have taken critisism from the greats in here, get a real name and I might respect your opinion too. Besides we saw no great and wonderful masterpiece with your name on it. Afraid we might be supportive and kind with our words? Trying not to damage a blossoming Poet. Realizing that not every person who posts it this forum is a poetic genious, some only versing idiots like me and Toerag? (sorry Toe..hehe)You give your opinion, but can't take my critisism of it. Ha.. funny when you think of it that way huh?
Critic
New Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 9


8 posted 09-03-99 01:55 PM       View Profile for Critic   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Critic

Hmmm. Interesting point. Hiding behind a name like Critic? Well, it is atleast honest and upfront. As is we do- all of us- therein hide behind names and email generic in order to mask ourselves. Is Lucie specific? Balladeer? FemmeFatale? Toerag?

I have no problem with critisism of my critisism, honestly. As I wrote this was a test of a sight listed as "This is the place to go if you would like to post your poetry for open review, or critique the poetry of others." But no one here actually does critique, do they? No, they don't. And nor do the writers wish to be critiqued. That's all the test was meant to find out, honestly.

I'm not looking for a site were everyone slaps each other on the back, but rather one that seeks self-improvement through critique.
This isn't that, honestly. Mea culpa.


Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


9 posted 09-03-99 03:26 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

THEN MOVE ALLLLONNNG BROTHER!!

I like to think of this as an extended family. You can't pick your family members, some you like, some you don't. If you don't like them... sit at the other end of the picnic table or take yo azz to yo in-laws!!!

kisses!!!
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


10 posted 09-03-99 03:28 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

OH! And by the way... would anyone admit to a name like Lucie unless it was really theirs??? YA THINK???
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


11 posted 09-03-99 03:31 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Lucie...ya ask that question to someone with a name like "Toerag".....c'mon gal...ya gotta be kidding....right?
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


12 posted 09-03-99 03:44 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Ha Ha Point taken Toerag.

He slammed you too huh??? hahahah
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 09-03-99 05:51 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, I haven't seen any of Critic's comments but you guys sure have my curiosity up. It seems to me we're all saying the same thing. We say that this is a "family" thing, which it is and it appears from what I read here, that he is saying basically the same thing. We have our Critical Analysis area for those who want a frank, honest review of their work and we have our Open area where we socialize, swap experiences and visit with each other, all in poetic form. You don't correct a friend's grammar whenever he says something wrong and keep a friend for very long. From what I gather here, this person came in and made some derrogatory remarks in the Open forum without checking us out first. That being the case, it was right for you, Lucie, to get on his case. If he had checked us out first, he would have seen that we have a Critique area. Some people genuinely want criticism of their poetry to help them strive to better themselves and some people just want a place where they can go to express their thoughts in their own poetic way. Our Open Forum leans toward the latter, a mixture of excellent poets, of poets less polished but just as sincere, and Toerag. As for me, I say, THANK GOD! I wouldn't have it any other way!
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


14 posted 09-03-99 05:53 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

I think so too Balladeer.. besides he reminded me of this uncle I have the one who talks really loud about nothing at all and give his opinion about things he knows nothing about!

[This message has been edited by Lucie (edited 09-03-99).]
Wesley the Blue
Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 430
Forest Lake, MN, USA


15 posted 09-04-99 01:07 AM       View Profile for Wesley the Blue   Email Wesley the Blue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wesley the Blue

thanks for roasting that guy. didnt sound like he had anything too usefull or original to say. He "cretiqued" one of my poems and said I was forcing it, hmmmm.... sound familiar? Thanks again.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


16 posted 09-04-99 07:59 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

To "Critic"
I just sent you the following email....
However, it was returned to me because you seem to have posted a "bogus" email address.
You do, indeed, seem to be hiding behind anonymity.

Your email reads as follows:
If you choose to "test" our site to determine its focus, we'd be pleased to know your identity. This site is a composite of contributors, ranging in abilities from novices to master poets. Should you peruse our plethora of forums more thoroughly, you would certainly see that we have an "Open Poetry Forum" for all to enjoy - That is, indeed - a place for our posters to respond to each other with supportive comments. There's the "Critical Analysis Forum" for in-depth critiques on poets who choose that avenue -

Perhaps your criticism of our site is a bit overzealous!!


If you find that this site is not caustic enough to suit you, or if you neglect to submit a valid email address on your profile; I'd be more than happy to delete every one of your postings. Then I'll cheerfully direct you to sites where participants thrive on "slamming" each other - That is, if you actually have any of your own work to post.....

Nancy Ness
Forum Moderator - This is not a cognomen - As such, it should be sufficiently perspicuous for your purport.





[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 09-04-99).]
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


17 posted 09-04-99 08:05 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

Well, all the seriousness aside, this is a great poem! Kepp this one, it is fab. Keep up the good work!

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Emmy
Member
since 06-29-99
Posts 204
KY

Newsletter Staff
18 posted 09-04-99 08:09 PM       View Profile for Emmy   Email Emmy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Emmy's Home Page   View IP for Emmy

WOO-HOO!!!! A big round o' applause for Lucie!!!! We ARE a family, and a loving one at that. Yes, we critique each others work, but I agree whole-heartedly with Balladeer in that we're just looking for a place to express our selves poetically. Critic, move it on out! Lucie, loved that last line there! You go girl! Keep on writing!
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


19 posted 09-04-99 08:24 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

BIG GIGANTIC HUGS FOR ALL MY DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY..HEHEH

Nan.. way to go.. you tell him too.. it seems more important coming from you!!!

To all who responded to this poem. I hope that you all continue to post and be happy little people.
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


20 posted 09-04-99 08:33 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

I cannot resist responding to this one. Slamming each other is not acceptable. That's all there is to it. I didn't read whatever "critic" posted to result in this very humorous yet serious poem, but I have encountered similar comments at another poetry website..... seems there are some people who need a lot of attention, even though it's based on this kind of garbage slamming. Funny thing is, at this other website where these kinds of slamming comments were found, the dude never posted any poetry of his own there either! Wonder if it's the same person.

Lucie, I love your style!!

dp
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


21 posted 09-04-99 08:46 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Thanks Doreen.. lovin yours too..

(shhh the only family memeber in here I sit at the other end of the table from is me..hehe.. dual personality you know..haha)
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
22 posted 09-04-99 09:15 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I think critic was blown away....he/she has not responded as of late....good ridance to the big fake......

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Tyke
Junior Member
since 08-22-99
Posts 27
Calgary, Alberta, Canada


23 posted 09-04-99 09:45 PM       View Profile for Tyke   Email Tyke   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tyke's Home Page   View IP for Tyke

Lucie

I don't know you nor do I know the critic. You are right to defend yourself, but in my opinion ignorance is a prison of it's own. The critic may need to justify why he/she exists. Wither the critic is right or wrong does not matter for ignorance knows no truth. What you write, you write well and you should take great pride in this, as it is a great gift that you share with others, for there are those of us who still struggle with the pen, paper and the mind.

Forgiveness is the might of the mighty. Forgiveness and gentleness are the qualities of the self-possessed. They represent eternal virtue.
- from the Mahabharata
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


24 posted 09-04-99 10:19 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I am a bit confused on this subject as I have yet to see any of the critics replies, but I hope that when I offer advice to other poets here, I do not get the same response. For the most part, my words are uplifting, but I do offer suggestions from time to time on ways I feel that the poem could be improved. I take time to read ever posting on here and for the most part reply to probably 75% of them. Would I to be slammed like this for offering an opinion to people I think of as my friends, I would be heartbroken.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
 
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