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Passions in Poetry

The Promise

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traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


0 posted 09-02-99 12:18 PM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for traveler

I stir ... another restless night,
As silent comes the dawn ...
Her presence, banished by the light,
Obdurate lover gone.

The light that creeps beneath the drapes
A haunting crimson red;
My body feeble, life so faint,
I lie alone in bed.

For, only in the black of night
Does my lover come:
Surrender to her sweet embrace,
And two ... shall be one.

So teasingly does she caress
And then, bestows her kiss ...
So sweet, the dangling promise
Of dark immortal bliss.

Her succulent lips ... so sensuous
Pressed hard against my skin ...
Surrender is so effortless;
So willingly, I sin!

Dark ecstasy flows over me
As tangled sheets I clasp;
My soul, this night and ever more
Held in her selfish grasp.

Against my ear and neck so pale,
Moves her seductive breath.
My body trembles at her touch;
My soul awaits the death.

For she has pledged her love to me
And all forever's nights;
So I give this, my soul, to her
So heady her delights!

I returned each touch ... each kiss;
So tight was her embrace!
My feelings heightened ever more
Her hunger, keeping pace ...

'Twas not a smile that curled her lips,
But dark deceitful lies;
Her face, a cold empty canvas -
But ravenous her eyes!

My life, my love, my soul I gave
On this unholy night -
And she would take ... but could she give?
I gave, devoid of fright.

And as the fateful moment neared
When she would share her bliss,
Her gift, she heartlessly withheld -
That cold immortal kiss ...

My essence drained by her embrace -
Her touch held no release ...
Now sated, she knew only scorn
For this mere mortal piece.

And having spent this mortal frame
To feed her happiness,
Not looking back, she cast the shell
Into the dark abyss!

------------------
You live you learn. You love you learn. You cry you learn. You lose you learn. You bleed you learn ... You grieve you learn. (Alanis Morissette) I write, I learn very slowly ...
Traveler


[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-02-99).]

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-02-99).]

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-07-99).]
© Copyright 1999 traveler - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


1 posted 09-02-99 03:37 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

traveler -
If you're working on perfecting your meter, you're doing a pretty good job here - You've written alternating lines of iambic tetrameter and iambic trimeter - There are a few rough spots that need smoothing, but all in all, you're doing well....
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


2 posted 09-02-99 03:40 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Time to get the dictionary out...again..*sigh*...

Hugs

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.


traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


3 posted 09-02-99 03:49 PM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Thanks Nan, I'll keep working on it. No excuses here, but with my limited experience, I have difficulty keeping the message while fitting the tech side ... never thought this would come over night ... why I may just do free verse ... thanks for your comments ...
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 09-02-99 05:16 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, I think this is an EXCELLENT tribute to Poet DeVine! Nice job, Traveler.
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


5 posted 09-02-99 08:28 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

I liked this one ...

I didn't realize you had met PDV, though..? LOL

Looking forward to more ... may I request something more upbeat or is that bad form?



------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")


traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


6 posted 09-02-99 08:39 PM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Thank you Balladeer .... hmmm ...Poet DeVine? Must be a whole coven of them out there ...

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-02-99).]

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-07-99).]
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


7 posted 09-02-99 09:25 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Trav, hon, I think you learn pretty quickly!
Great job...but maybe you should leave your windows closed at night?

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


8 posted 09-02-99 09:33 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Traveler,
I thought you did a grand job.
Some wonderful lines.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


9 posted 09-02-99 09:51 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Well done! Dark love, interesting.
traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


10 posted 09-02-99 11:39 PM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Thank you Caroline, Sy and WhtDove, your compliments will keep me tryin.

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-07-99).]
Critic
New Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 9


11 posted 09-02-99 11:46 PM       View Profile for Critic   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Critic

nice. dump the quatrain.
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


12 posted 09-03-99 01:10 AM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Well done, I say!
traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


13 posted 09-03-99 03:36 PM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Satiate, thank you. (Smile) Critic, thanks, from you that is high praise.

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-03-99).]
Starith
Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 181
Leesburg, FL USA


14 posted 09-03-99 09:53 PM       View Profile for Starith   Email Starith   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Starith

Very sad, but nicely done...I look forward to more from you.

------------------
We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


15 posted 09-03-99 11:36 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Wonderful. I stand and applaud. I really enjoyed it Traveler, and liked the meter.

Balladeer-"a tribute to Poet deVine?" LOL. Let's see what you can come up with.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


16 posted 09-04-99 12:19 AM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

Mixed emotions for me!! I liked the style!!
Quite enjoyed the peom!!
Thank You!!

Justbleu

------------------
"Never let anyone keep you from your dreams, follow your heart, be true to yourself, and if that special someone does to, go ahead, walk together side by side as one!!
traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


17 posted 09-04-99 09:45 AM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Starith, thank you. Thanks, Elizabeth, your making me blush. Justbleau, thanks for reading and commenting. THANKS to all who took time to comment.

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-07-99).]
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


18 posted 09-07-99 10:13 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Ahhhhh.....not about me! I would never be so cruel as to toss aside your heart! Balladeer was teasing.....my kisses are not cold but hot!

How did I miss this! I apologize for not being on the ball earlier! It's very, very good!
traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


19 posted 09-07-99 01:58 PM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Thank you Poet ...

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 09-07-99).]
traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


20 posted 09-09-99 10:43 PM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Thanks Devine One ... with your words of encouragement I'll post something in "your"
forum tomorrow ... promise
moonmoon
Member
since 08-13-99
Posts 280
TX , USA


21 posted 09-09-99 11:18 PM       View Profile for moonmoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonmoon


Well written indeed Traveler...

------------------
"No one was ever ruined from without;
The final ruin comes from within.".....Amelia E. Barr


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


22 posted 12-24-2004 11:07 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

nicely done

enjoyed this read
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 03-21-2004
Posts 3212
The World of Poetry


23 posted 12-24-2004 07:32 PM       View Profile for *Alli4000*   Email *Alli4000*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *Alli4000*

I enjoyed this!

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

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